jellybeanies
icon, resources, host, host.

sch was fucking slack today. shldnt have gone. had math tutorial then after that me and peijin decided not to go lit lect cos we walked in the lt and mr lee was like "take out ur journals" so we just walked out. cos like we both dint bring our empty journals. after lect dint wanna go pe either. so the professionals "pj me yensen" went to study. haha. surprising? lol. yea from like 9.40 to 1210 we studied. yea i started on some ki cos my exam's coming up and i'm still not as philosophical as i'm supposed to be. haiz. sch finally ended at like 2 plus... was bored decided to go kartik's hse. had lunch then we went to macs to study at loyang point. went home like around 6. relaxed and like did some work. after this i'm gonna like watch tv before calling it a day. man i'm starting to feel the burn of not having a hp. my social life just went down the drain. not like i have one, (i drew a line for guys after i got attached to kartik) but it sucks not being contacted, not msging and its DEFINITELY not fun asking to borrow my friend's hp to msg and make calls. hAiz.... pls pls pls... a hp!!! drop from heaven!!! please!!! argh!!! who do i kill??? argh! btw kartik was really nice today. he fetched me frm my stop!! yay!


as usual, late for mass. wad can i say? its prettty unmotivational to go early knowing that u're gonna be alone. wad to do? no more catholic bf and my guy frens who are catholic find it useless to go with me cos they cant get me to be their gf. and girls? well dont go there. stood in mass next to my ex from hell. giving me the cold shoulder. cos of fri i guess. who asked him to piss me off by venting on me when i came down just for him cos he "wanted to be frens"? oh well. dint really care also cos its not like i really wanna be his friend. vicente accompanied me and after mass my family and i (i guess dats all one will ever have left in the end) went to tm for lunch. me and vicente went to choop tables at long john silver's while my parents went to draw money. and guess who comes along? shaun, alphonsus and russelle. shaun and phonz came to my table to talk until my dad came. then dey went on their way. apparently they're like practising for some gig at ea and they also want another band. and they want my bro. take take take! he'll be more than happy. he loves stpats anyway. (martin) so after lunch went shop with vicente. haha. weird right? go shop wif my bro. then went home... there was dis mat on the bus that i also saw when i was going church. and he like said bye when i went down. haha. wonder wad kartik would have done if he was dere. walking home i ran into martin. long time no see man. he was skating and like showing off to my bro but at the same time he kept looking at me... went home, and completed my hist tutorial. then i decided for the first time in the whole year to rearrange my papers into files according to subs. for the whole time since jc started my notes were just dumped on the freaking table. so i got all my notes out..... took out all my files.... and guess wad. COULDNT FIND THE FREAKIN HOLE PUNCHER. dad and i like searched the whole damn house for 20 mins. but couldnt find. so in the end i dragged my ass downstairs to the minimart to buy. but dun have. the owner like search search search make me wait so long den only he tell me dun have. so i walked all the way to central to buy. and walked all the way home. for the next hour, i sorted everythg out. felt so proud of myself. now i'm just chilling but i plan to carry on doing work soon. like after i bathe.
p.s. miss kartik alot. cant wait to see him tmr. i hope he fetches me to sch again. ><


today, woke up late. at like 8.30. cos was too tired to wake up earlier. vivian cher and i were like chatting online until 3. vivian and i were even audio conferencing. haha it was pretty cool. but then i paid the price by waking up late. so i had to rush. martin dint turn up. turns out he decided to sleep out of it. -_-. turned up at the place like 10 mins late. had like briefing and intro... then had interview. the guy said he'll call on thursday for the shortlisting... i got a feeling i dint get in. oh wellz. the thing ended at like 1050, was suppose to meet viv and cher only at 1. so i hanged at sg post centre till 11, was talking to kartik most of the time over the phone. then i made my way to marina sq. reached there at like 1130. so i was like walking walking around... hanging around... being bored... all the way till 2. when vivian came. waited for cher but we found out that she was like at raffles place with abel so the both of us went window shopping. bought alot of sweets and we were eating... and at 3.15 we made our way to cityhall mrt to meet kartik who decided to come to cheer me up. we walked all the way dere with a bowl of shark's fin soup, drinking on the way. so fun! i love vivian! then we went there kartik was like stalking us and suddenly shocked us! we all waited for cheryl and abel to arrive. then we went to eat at a thai restaurant. kartik was so cute and baby. i was taking care of him most of the time... feeding him, hugging him... etc... haiz. dat boi. den viv had to depart. and i guess abel and cher had to also. so it was left with me and kartik. decided to walk to esplanade where we chilled for awhile then we made our way home. took bus. in both buses i slept la. like a pig. i just knocked out. and kartik was nice enough to take care of me and hug me. he even pulled my shirt down to cover whenever it exposed abit of skin. ahah he's abit protective. went home and he was nice enough to bring me all the way up to my house. so rare that he does that. really sweet. made me damn happy. so i rewarded him. =)
i love u ok?


i'm much happier now. remember i dint wanna go for the modelling thg? well now my frens are so supportive of me. they're gonna accompany me there!!! martin vivian and cheryl!!! yay!!! i'm gonna go do my nails
tataz!!!


whole day is bad. i'm already home though its a friday and its only 5pm. i'm sitting here posting this waiting for mum to go to work so i can eat my lunch in front of the tv to sulk my blues away. why am i so sad? well u see the thing is my hp got stolen. yup. and so did peijin's mp3. right in front of our noses. they just disappeared. and my hp is nearly 500 cos its like 6131. and her mp3 is like also freaking ex cos its the zen microphoto. we just turned our backs to put our stuff in our bags after class and when we turned around to our tables they were gone. we spent like 40 mins checking our bags making sure we dint accidently dump it in... checking the classroom...checking the floor.... kartik came to help. but in the end we dint find anythg. went to report to the office. at like 2 peijin had to rush off to meet rhoda so i was left with the vp who was investigating... asking me for the ppl present and their numbers etc. i guess he was trying to make me feel better. but i mean in reality, my hp could be at any 2nd hand shop by then. so i just broke down cos its like the 2nd time i'm losing a phone. my previous 6610 fell into the toilet bowl... and now this? i really felt like life was against me. in the end i cancelled going to the movies with kartik. dint have much money anyway. the vp even called my dad to explain things. after leaving the office, for awhile i just felt lost. empty. spaceless. i couldnt think... i was numb. who would do this to me? seriously my vp wanted to like investigate for me on monday but then we'll be like ostracised by the whole class. i duno maybe i'll just step down as cg rep. i cant take it anymore. at around 3.30 finally decided to wake up and do somethg. called my dad, he dint sound angry. which makes me more confused. which makes things so much worst. took a bus with kartik to tamp interchange. went there, got a call from his mum. suddenly wanted to meet him. so took 81 back to pasir ris. walked him to the polyclinic then walked home. in the rain. really can this day get any worse?
u noe actually today was supposed to be a really nice day. went to sch early all. spent 1st break with kartik, i even taught my class gp today! how cool is that. plus i was teaching the right stuff. and also i had a call from southeast cdc saying that i made it through the audition for the fashion fiesta. which meant if i passed tmr's wadever i get to model. after sch i even had plans to go watch the lake house with kartik at like orchard. then can walk around. and have a nice day. but no. my hp had to be stolen. seriously, who hates me so much?


kartik's sick with fever... man. wish i could be there. but all i can do now is hope he's aite. he so cant take care of himself. dunno why i let myself go with kartik. maybe its cos i really like him. and i'm staying cos i really love him. maybe one day he'll realise he means so much more to me than he thinks.

i hope he treasures me as much as i do.


went to sch only for econs and hist tutorial. left sch at like 10? wanted to go home to study before returning to sch at 3.30 for ki. but instead i met kartik and we just slacked the entire time away. first we took a bus to 24 hrs... he ate there... then we took a bus to downtown east... wanted to go to the beach but like argh it was so fucking hot. so we just sort of died at the bus stop for awhile... then we went to take a bus... then we went under some block and like slacked like mats until 1 plus when he went back to sch and i thankfully went to my cooling home.
took a cold bath, read thru my hist lect notes cos i was feeling guilty and i knocked out after dat. so fucking tired. i fell asleep with my contacts. when i woke up at like 4... wah... the feeling sucked man. soo soso gross!!! then i like slacked and read my novel until now!

kk gtg want to watch tv
=)


dint go to sch today =) spent the day out with kartik. he's nicer. really. gives me reason to give him another chance. he was so nice. first we went to tm.... walked around.... saw alot of tpjcians... i met debbie! and they were buying dis stupid bear thing. so kiasu. everyone was like rushing for the stupid offer.... me and kartik bought identical ear studs. hehe. then we went to macs... for like lunch. then we went to the country club... relax awhile... took a walk around downtown east... then we went to sch. haha. cos the whole sch was at kallang. so we went dere and like fooled around.... then at around 6.30 we went to white sands pri to fetch vicente. then thats where the day ended.
i'm gonna study now cos i really wanna like stop slacking school wise. kay. tatazx!


proud of myself. 2am now. just finished my hist tutorial outline. finally another accomplishment. trying to push kartik out of my mind. wanna focus on studies. i dunno wad to do... really... i love him so so much. he's such a kid. arghzx... lets see wad tmr brings ok? i still love him. even tho i said its over. but i wont tell him. i wanna see his tolerance level. like how he plays with mine. i wanna see how much i mean to him. so we'll see. i love u kartik.
moving on to my second love. vivian i dunno wad i'll do without u. haha i noe dis sounds gay but ya. i really appreciate u in my life. i love u for helping me and i love helping u. helps us to learn more about each other's lives. been tgt thru thick and thin. ytd when u msg me till i sleep i felt damn cared for. thx so so much! >.<


argh now talking to viv about how life would be like if i dint noe her....
and cheryl also. omg she was like with me for like almost hAlf my life la. man... wad i'll do in life man.... i love cheryl i love vivian i love louiza.
cherylvivianlouiza.
so nice!
life without them?


ARGH IT WILL SUCK BIG TIME!!!!


just came back from the doc's... got medicine for my bladder infection. and mc. so i dont have to go to the stupid sea sports carnival shit tmr. so i guess its good timing. before dat i went to mass... went lunch with shaun den went meet daddy to go doc. haiz... kartik dint even call once. last night was the worse. my infection was bad. it was damn hard to concentrate or be comfortable. felt so terrible and alone. kartik had to slp so vivian kept me company till i fell asleep. i love vivian.


so much for power of the mind. after bathing, which lasted till 1.38pm, i went to sleep. until 6.30. wouldnt have woke up if kartik dint call and ask me to get the hell out of bed to start doing my philo essay. well u see, i was so freakin lethargic and sickly cos i was feeling emo. the real reason is, apart from the mountain of work to do and my lazy ass, i really dunno wad to do with regards to my love life. so once again, like augustine's era, emo. well at least i'm doing my essay now, 11pm. just finished researching and i've decided to cut my hair into a mohawk some time soon. i really really love it and i wanna try somethg new. being the punkrock spontaneous girl that i am, i really wanna do this even though i risk the stares and a few months of looking stupid. but hey, wad if it really turns out to be nice? i really wanna do this. but kartik is not supporting me. there's even a possibility he wont like me. like wad the fuck. its just hair u noe. the side of me that loves him feels sad and wants to just give up the idea. the other side says, fuck it la louiza its ur life u can do wad u wanna do with ur hair and if he just doesnt wanna support u then its not true love. how?


yesterday i went orchard after sch so i was pretty tired when i came home around 11 so i fell asleep... now, waking up at 12pm, i feel so lethargic and light headed. but i need to get my fucking ki essay done. it was like due ytd and i'm only in the process of researching. so that sucks. but then again, i feel so lethargic and no mood. so i really dunno when i'm actually gonna get down to doing it. plus i havent even bathed yet. i feel like that time when i broke up with augustine. when all i could do was lie in bed all day. but no, i cant do that now. so i'm gonna stop procrastinating. stop stop stop.
k tell u wad. i'm gonnna adapt the policy of force. i'm gonna force myself to do wadever's necessary. even if my body is like so unwilling, my mind shall take over and force me to get started. ok. lets see if this works. i'm gonna go bathe now. till one pm. then its time for me to force myself to start work.

lets hope this works.


cant believe i survived sch today. somemore its thursday. sch sucks on thursday cos i have lessons non-stop till 5.30. so i'm always in a bad mood and a bitch on thursdays. but today, i think i was quite stable man. partly also cos someone was being the real bitch so i really dint bother to compete or get angry myself. planned service learning with my class today. great at least we got a plan now and mr koh doesnt have to think we're like useless. (esp me since i'm the class rep) during pe we were supposed to run 3 rounds. but me and peijin were like so not in the mood to run. so we just strolled then halfway through the 1st round we found two hockey balls and were like kicking them as we strolled... lol... then we took long enuff so after the 1st round we just stopped. today mother tongue, it was just gmr and me. sulaiman dint come. i was in a bad mood actually(u noe thursday blues) so i was like quiet or snappy... dint really pay much attention... was playing with a rubber band with thoughts crammed in my mind.. argh.. so depressing. but glen was nice enough to keep me entertained by trying to snatch the rubber band away from me while my teacher was like talking... then later he even let me use the rubber band to shoot at him and whack him. he dint noe this but it was kind of like a venting thing for me. all my negative emotions were just let out by pulling the rubber band damn hard and letting it whack him. seriously i pulled damn hard tt i was quite hesitant to let go but he told me to go ahead. so ya kind of felt better after that. and he told me one thing which was really sweet. ok not actually told me la it was more like a conversation between my teacher and us. he said if he was in a relationship he'll let the girl pinch him and stuff. haiz... i secretly wish someone was like that. had about an hour and a half's break. me and peijin went to visit yensen in the art room. haha he was so funny playing with clay and threatening peijin. and he promised me he'll design and sew for me a dress next year for his art. yay. went to the canteen... sat with yensen and peijin for lunch. kartik came and really i must say i was abit disappointed with how he acted... haiz... had history after that. me yensen peijin were so-called "the professionals". cos we kept arguing wif miss cheng. i was never so enthusiastic in class before. esp previous hist classes cos the topic was SOUTHEAST ASIA WHICH IS FUCKING BORING. but we just started cold war. and I LOVE COLD WAR. so ya mrs tan(kc) i wont let u down. after that had econs.... blah blah boring.... was talking to elfie most of the time... then lit... even more boring!!! but during lit peijin and i went to the canteen. she wanted to buy for me chocolate but den she press the wrong button on the machine and some useless sweet came out. and we were like laughing laughing about that. haha. had ki after that. something else cheered me up. i had 2nd in class for the essay i spent so long on. i'm really proud of myself. the research all paid off. and i lost the 1st person by only half a mark. so i'm proud of myself! =) then after that met kartik and we went home.
none of the ppl in my life is supporting me in my relationship with kartik. almost everyone thinks i should break up with him. but i love him and i want to give him a try. but reality wise, he's breaking my heart everyday. its me against everyone else. i dont even think kartik's on my side cos he's hurting me time after time. its just me. alone.



at home now... gonna go back to sch at 3.. sch today was random. i went to sch with kartik again. we were kind of late. had econs lecture first 2 periods in the auditorium. i tink the lecturer miss tan was pissed at us for not going for econs extra class ytd cos she was showing my class attitude la. like when peijin answer she will make fun of the answer... den she call me all.. then she keep staring at us... so fine la she take revenge we also take revenge la. peijin was like msging and eating... i was msging and making stupid comments like "haha so funny" when she made a "damn funny" joke. so ya it was damn retarded la. den when we were walking out peijin was like "THE FOOD SO NICE MAN" and i said "THE LECTURE SO NICE MAN" i hate her la. during math mr koh was like pissed off with us. dunno why i tink its cos of the latecoming but its quite normal already wad... i guess it was just one of his bad days.
kartik was nice today again.. with his lame cuteness and puppy smile. dint think i'll love again.


u noe wad just happened? a fucking cockroach was like running around den me and my sister were like screaming and running away. then my brother took the big baygon spray and chase the cockroach all around the house spraying the bloody idiot. den the fella like became blind. den my bro took the insect whacker thing and whacked it to death then he picked it and threw it out the window. damn brave ah! and he's only pri 4 la. and me and my sister like so much older and we were like screaming. haha. so cute my bro so small chasing after the fucker with the big spray.
another cute person today was kartik. he was really nice today. much much nicer than ever. today morning he was so nice. when he found out i only had 2 dollars to go woodlands he took it and gave me 10. den he went study with his friends early part of sch. i supposed to go to woodlands like around ten in the morning then like my teacher told me i most prob got kicked out of it since i never attended any trainings. so instead of going there, i decided to meet kartik. sat down with his geek frens. they quite funny and nice la. kartik was like damn cute with them. he's like the naughtiest. teaching them all the dirty things. haiz.. so evil. and he was damn nice la. he bought for me snapple. then after that he had to go class so i went to sit at the foyer with anas and sam. my day was like over already. so i like tried to do math... TRIED! most of the time i was either listening to fallout boy or talking to shaun. and after that, waited for kartik until 12.10 den he came sit next to me... take photo etc. he's really soo cute today. i dunno why he suddenly damn freakin nice to me... hopefully it lasts la ah... silly boi....


why a waspy day? cos there are so many occasions today where wasps come and pay me visits. was so tired yesterday cos of the stupid turn of events... quarrelled with kartik... quarrelled with aug (dont ask me why)... so i fell asleep. and was woken up by kartik several times in the morning... but i always put the phone down and went back to slp. not till a wasp flew in my room and i was forced to get up. that was like at 12 plus. then today was like meet the parents at stupid sch. so me daddy and vicente went to sch. had to see mr tan the ki teacher first. i tell u... the other parents had like so much to talk about. some of them were quite angry with mr tan, no idea why... i think he's a great teacher. well my dad just sat there listening. dint say anything... dint ask anything... dint scold the teacher.... so nice. den after dat he was making fun of the parents all.. saying dey damn kiasu. etc etc. they really talk damn long la. cool dad ah. but then the bad side is, he looks speechless la. but he also told me that he had nothing to say cos he dint even noe wad the fuck is ki. he said if soccer or wad den he can talk. then i met glen micheal roberts. the straight A idiot. he was with his mum and my dad recognised her. we went to the audi, for the stupid lecture. i was eating snickers and msging... vicente was playing psp... wah i tell u... family of slackers man. even most of the parents there are nerdy. after that, my dad decided not to meet my teachers cos he dint wanna wait so long cos definitely the other ppl are gonna talk damn long about uni admissions.... sch policies... etc etc. so dumb la. sometimes i wonder why parents are so kiasu and pressurising, after all its the child's life rite? as long as u love the fucker and make him happy i think thats better than giving him a stupid childhood. well then i went to kartik's house cos he wanted to talk to me... i'm still here.... and i'm in serious shit. cos his mom and bro came home and now i'm hiding in his sister's room... we're thinking about how to escape. i might even climb down 3 stories. fuck man. why do i always get caught in situations like this? oh yea and when i was at his balcony thinking of a strategy to climb down, a wasp flew by....


just got back from sch. 4pm. surprised? yea i am too cos these days i come home when the sun has long gone down. wads so different about today? well i supposed to meet kartik at 4 after ki to apparently go for a movie. but he met harinder and in the end... they ended up going to his house and i ended up well, going home. haiz... so bored man, really sometimes i wonder why i stead with kartik. i never cancelled out on him on such a late notice. its not that i got anything against harinder. i think he's a pretty cool dude but like come on la kartik, even i last minute meet a friend i dont leave u out saying u cant come. now i'm like supposed to meet him at like 6 plus instead. so sian la. like wad the hell am i supposed to do till 6? and i hate coming home and den going out again.. its like i'll be too lazy to move already. and worse still. ok la i dont mind going out again. but then kartik will most probably have to go home like early. so like doesnt that mean like so little time? might as well not even go... damn...
oh yea and baybeats start today until sunday. i so wanted to goo!!! but like no one wants to go with me la... shaun huang is like still traumatised that i'm attached so he's like "go ask ur bf la! i'm not ur bf!"went to ask my bf and he says "i dowan go." -_-' fuck noe. i miss those days when augustine debbie shaun and i will go for baybeats and "mosh" and scream!! now, its like i'm stuck with no-life ppl... gawd someone help me!
and now kartik just called... saying that we'll go to tm instead of orchard. ARGH!!!!! DONT BLAME ME THAT WE DONT GO OUT OFTEN! i sounded abit upset la. den he went on to say he wanna go now cos i sound pissed with him all the time. well try not to keep bastarding our plans la. maybe dat will help. maybe.
FUCKED UP MAN! TOTALLY FUCKED UP!!


sch was so tiring today. lessons one after another without break till like almost 6pm. i really hate thursdays. they just kill me. i was like swearing so much in econs... the teacher is fucking irritating. then had council. then went to chill with kartik and harinder at like long john's silvers... so sway sia harinder lost his sister's iPod. he was sad the whole way... i was pissed and tired the whole way... dunno how kartik was feeling but oh wells. i think he also quite irritated cos his mother kept calling. oh wellx. after this i gotta do my eom for pw. fucking waste of my time i tell u. when will this jc shit end.... oh j2s i envy u. u'all get to leave in a few months time. i'll be stuck there for like one more yr.... sadsz.

Similarities betweent bryan and kartik.

• both of them can run really fast
• both play soccer well.
• both very injury-prone
• both smart asses
• both irritating
• both horny
• both rich kids
• both pressured by parents alot
• both hated by disipline teachers
• both good in chemistry
• both like to wait outside my door.
• cant help liking both of them even though they're super irritating.
• both will pon sch for me

haha... dunno why i did that. sorry if it offends anyone. the above analysis was a result of me realising so many times that kartik reminds me of bryan. it was done comparing the now kartik with the then bryan. bryan would have changed by now. i think...

argh i hate my life. it is now an unstable, procrastinating piece of shit. every second i wonder when's the next time i'm gonna feel sad. and work is piling up so much that i feel like puking just thinking of how much work i've got to do. and also, these days i end sch so fucking late i feel so sian and tired... today had ki and council meeting... and tmr i have racial harmony rehearsal. seriously man. when is all this gonna stop???
i need someone to be there for me. really. someone. anyone. i hope that person is kartik. but really i need to feel more secure in the relationship. its like everyday there's something he does to make me sad. arghhhh.... why.. why do i even bother trying? i think i really really like him alot. cos really... i dunno how the hell i tolerate all this nonsense.
sometimes i just feel so alone. so alone in this world. and no one is going through the same things i am going through.. kartik, can u please make me feel like its worth it to stay?


today i shall not write about my day.
i'll make it a different sort of post.

what's true love? love that was never returned? love that lasted? how long does it take to consider a love true? can true love be like an immediate emotion without facing the battle of time? so many questions. my life have yet to answer them. then is there such a thing as fake love? infactuation? is that fake love? then why do they call it love in the first place? crazy right? then why... haiz....

lame rite my post? well i'm just confused really.


weird day. really. weird. so not natural. wad happened was, aug took the same bus as me to church. jia lat rite? haha. well anyway started talking, went to mass. stood next to him. quite weird really, standing next to someone after so long. oh wellsx. after mass, went to eat lunch together. long john silver's. remember how i'll order at that place cos u dint noe how to? well today u did. so had a quick update on each other's lives over lunch. talked talked talked... until quite long.. den took a walk around cs. which was again weird.. walking wif him after so long. without a doubt there was some sense of awkwardness. no doubt. well then, finally took a bus home... so familiar, him fetching me home... wellz... had a long talk outside my house... talked about how i cant be friends with him anymore... about how our lives are now... we saw these pri sch kids smoking... made frens with them. but no i dint smoke. so then, we wanted to stretch our legs, for the last time we went to white sands... and he bought me football socks cos i've always wanted them! so cosyy. wearing dem now... then we went home.... and finally said goodbye..
the whole day was really solemn and serious... but i guess we both learnt alot. i guess tts how life is, one moment u think u're happy the next, it all just flies away.... well all i can say is, augustine, u've showed me the best a guy can ever be..


woke up like at 2.30 today and only got out of bed at 3. so lethargic. had a splitting headache. so bad i ate like alot of chocolate. then had lunch, and finally started to read the fucking novel great expectations after like 2 months of stopping halfway. fell asleep... where's the surprise? woke up when kartik called rushed to meet him go study. and martin pissed me off. he went to find trouble with him downstairs.. haiz.. well anyway i so dowan blog right now abt my day. playing dead man's tale with my councillor fren. so fun! =) nitex!


i love fridays. sch is so slack. i got caught by the principal for my hair. cos i was doing the announcements in front of the whole sch. so i guess it was just a matter of time. and today i did announcements smoothly cos i dint look for kartik until after the announcements, so no pressure. decided to go for gp lesson today cos wanted to accompany peijin. told my class not to tell the new teacher i take ki... so in class wah... first time i see everyone bored to the max sial. peijin was sleeping... anas was writing in her book... justine was scratching some black thing off her hp... and i, well my whole table was empty except for my hp. i was msging shaun while the teacher talked on and on and on. then the teacher asked some questions and i answered them cheemly... haha... too bad peijin was sleeping.. haha. wanted to tell the teacher he was non-existent in my realm. well anyway halfway thru i got bored so i just went to the toilet and kind of never came back. hmm... pw was fun, we went to the lib (me gen lesley yensen) and we were like talking talking talking and so not doing anythg. was funny.
ended sch at like 1250... met kartik and we kinda slacked with my friends awhile... then went to his house cos he wanted to freshen up... stayed there awhile... then went tm for lunch... walk walk... and went to country club to study. but cldnt do much tho the table dere was freakin small. then we made our way home, decided to accompany him back... ran into his mum so i had to walk like the long way home.... oh! and i met a doggy! yea i met a german shephard! a big one! it was like sitting in the field. alone. so scary. i took photos of it. but its blur cos everytime i go near it it will stand up and walk away... i tink it doesnt like me. =(


went to sch with kartik again. nowadays he calls me every morning to go sch with me. i had to do morning announcements again but this time it was in front of the J2s.... when i saw kartik in the crowd somemore so close to the flagpole, i freaked out. became damn nervous all of a sudden. haha. no idea why. its like he made me nervous... well then after assembly he walked me to the hall. dunno why he so nice suddenly. last time he like egoistic dun wanna noe me. in the hall, i realised councillors got some stupid leadership training camp. argh! camp again! camps make me puke. i hate camps. bad things happen at camps! arghhh.... well then i went to class, was so sad peijin dint come and also portugal lost to france so i was feeling emo at the back of the class alone. got U for my math.. haha.. kartik msged saying he missed me... i asked him to walk pass the back door of the classroom i was in. he did, i grabbed my bag and went out to meet him. dunno why i'm happy to see him. then anyway, had PE.... two guys were ignoring me. andy, my former crush, and vignash, former stalker. i stare stare at dem, they pretend not to noe me. haiz... sorry la. sorry i had to cut of relations. i dint wanna look like a player. well mt, glen was irritating me. i mean i'm sorry la for hurting ur feelings on msn last time. it was an accident and it was so long ago la. when are u gonna let it go? i was praising his looks and he still wanted to be sacarstic. but well i kept all my frustration inside cos i dint wanna start another problem. but glen if u ever read this, pls la. dun always think i'm against u. i got better things to do. after mt, met my classmates at the canteen. and hear this. kartik for the very 1st time, came to sit at my table. tt is news. glen joined us soon then we like talk talk awhile... then he had to go class, me and kartik went to sit outside the lecture theatres... then suddenly, the period ended so alot of ppl came out of the lts... and den somethg happened.hehe. anyway. went to hist, finally peijin came sch. and she bought me snickers!!! yay!!! love her! finally sch ended at like 6.... kartik called saying he'll bring me take photo for council. so we went loyang point... etc. then i came home.... and the home part is all just home i guess. hahaX.... should i give kartik a chance?


today was so dumb and useless. pw meeting, dint go. woodlands, dint go. was sleeping instead. woke up it was almost 2. ate lunch... and dilly dallied waiting for kartik to call. he was coming back from woodlands then we supposed to go study. finally went at like 6 to downtown. but kartik had to leave early. so dint do much. now, i'm gonna start on my pw. until 3am for the portugal match. i hope kartik remains nice to me...


hiii i'm back and the reason is, i am freakin surprised. tonite i discovered martin has a brain!! and no i'm not being sacarsti martin,(u are on the phone now) its true. he is freakin smart balls. let me tell u why. he vocally helped me do most of the thinking for my econs tutorial essay outline. cool man. he is sooo smart sial. really balls. he thinks of things i never thought existed. ya man somemore ah. oh wells. it helps to think simply i guess. he rocks la. he knows like more than me on the concepts of airline travel. and now he says i have to feel for both parties. like wadever. merepek je... and now he's cursing me in malay.
anyway, talking about martin i saw the boi himself at dwnstairs this afternoon when i was walking home. i saw him skating and i was like admiring his fucking skills and telling kartik "tts my ex man!" but tt fucker bastard me dont even wanna look at me. i felt damn hurt ok... i felt like he wasnt my friend anymore like he damn dao liddat. now in martin's own words : he gave a lame excuse that he dint want to interrupt the time that i and kartik was sharing cos he dont like when ppl also interrupt the time i share with him. eh but seriously la i feel damn fuck la. then nvm he dowan fren me. fine be like that.


I'm having the day from hell,
It was all going so well before you came
And you told me you needed space,
With a kiss on the side my face, not again
And not to mention the tears I shed
But I should have kicked your ass instead
I need intervention
Attention to stop temptation to scream

baby
Everything is Fuck'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up, where do I start
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

Don't know where I parked my car
Don't know who my real friends are anymore
I put my faith in you
What a stupid thing to do, when it rains it pours
And not to mention I drank too much
I'm feeling hung over and out of touch
I need intervention
Attention to stop temptation to scream

baby
Everything is Fuck'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

Can it be easier?
Can I just change my life?
Cause it just seems to go bad everytime
Will I be mending?
another one ending once again

Everything is Fuck'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No


yes today was stupid. dint do the pw survey results shit as planned. woke up at like one something and slowly ate lunch bathe den wait for kartik to call me so we can go study. stupid nokia called. said my hp is beyond repair. i became damn pissed and sad. so anyway when i met kartik at like 5 we went to century sq to collect my dying hp. had to wait like so freaking long for my turn, then finally got it then i decided to sell it so we went to like alot of shops around tamp central looking for a good deal. i'm so sorry kartik for wasting so much time. cos in the end we dint study it was like quite late already, 8. but i managed to trade in my 7610 and n-gage for a 6131. not bad. then we decided to go my house to try study. at my house, kartik rather play with my bro and stuff so i ate my dinner, watched abit of tv then he went home. so i watched tv... bathed... and now i'm here la.
kartik and i. we can never get along. there isnt a day we dont fight. every little small thing, a fight will start. i ask him why, he say cos he wants to win. ok. fine. i dont mind letting u win. but pls can it not be like over the slightest things in life? seriously man, i feel confused. i still have no idea why i give him chance over chance. he says he will listen to me from now on. i tell him, do ur work. he says no i got no mood. when i just msg my fren, he tells me put ur fucking hp down. its so unfair and i dun think i can tolerate any longer. i told him off before, and i have no idea how he came back. now, its just a matter of time until i lose it and tell him off again.
i really dowan go woodlands on wed. its so far and boring. and i especially hate the fact that i'll be going there alone. i'm so used to being fetched and taken care of. and now all of a sudden, i have to travel alone all the way to some unknown place. i hope i dont get lost. better still, i hope someone comes along to bring me.


just came home. time check: 5.30pm. my sunday was more fun than i expected it to be. lets just say i expected to be lonely and accompanied by vicente to tm for another boring afternoon. it was so not that way. went to church late. should i say as usual? haha. then guess wad i walked in.... and looked up.... AUGUSTINE!!! fuck! so i made a 180 degree turn and went to the other end. i think it was obvious cos i stopped as soon as i saw him and ran away. but really i sooo dowan see him la. argh... why why i always see him!!??? so jialat and sway... k then anyway, mass was boring and lonely as usual... met vicente like last part of the mass so he accompanied me... then after mass i brought him to go meet voldemort. ok one hint. voldemort is the bassist/drummer of the 1230 mass. then went downstairs with my family, mummy was like talking to her collegue... we were like standing around. i saw this guy with a damn nice mohawk... wah.... damn sway my stupid hp spoil. if not i would have taken a photo... haiz... so i was like planning to go tm with my family, then me and vicente walk walk around and maybe he could follow me to nokia to fix my phone. but then, voldemort called. apparently he suddenly had change in plans and had no where to go and he was feeling fucked up. so decided to meet him. so he came to meet my family, then we walked to tm. he and vicente gang up against me say i evil all. -_-. then we split at tm my family and me and voldemort. then we went to get a number from nokia. realised had to wait like an hour more. so we went to have lunch at long john's. he was like so sad. so i was acting lame and dumb trying to cheer him up. in the end we were both playing ice and i was screaming cos he was like wiping water on my face. ppl were thinking we were mad. but at least he was happier. then we went to nokia, where my phone got taken in. till wednesday. =( so sad rite... no more phone baby. then i went to tm to buy things to tie hair. then we went home. decided to accompany him to his bus stop since he so sad. so yea. i think he's happier. so today, managed to make a friend happy. but i think i really need a church buddy man. wonder if karl is still around.... life, here i come!


kay first lets do a world cup update. an hour ago, portugal kicked english arse!!!! whoohoo!!! i love portugal i love portugal!!! and its not cos i hv portugese blood. i'm not like some losers who go "i support portugal cos i have portugese blood"or"isnt it cool i have portugese blood?" -.- get.a.life. they are so skillful la! love love love! england sucks la. beckham sucks. rooney is such an idiot. who else? lampard dunno how to score for nuts. i love portugal!!!
k on to the day.
remember my date with sean? well dis is wad happened.
woke up at 1030 decided to get ready. sean cabbed down to my house to pick me, i was abit late but i guess u cant blame me. i'm a girl. hehe. took mrt to ps. quickly got in the cinema cos he bought tix in advance... wanted popcorn, he went to get it. really, i was abit embarrassed. haha. watched scary movie 4. was quite lame la the stupid joke on saw. that dumb clown. after the movie he asked me to wait at like a lift lobby, and when he was back, he brought me a bouquet. i was shocked! haha. then we went to starbucks where he bought me caramel ice blended which is also like my ultimate fav coffee drink... then we went to pasta mania for lunch... then the saddest thing happened. my hp got wet. and died. cannot on. sad. anyways then we went to far east... walk walk.... and ate ice cream at gelare. then made our way to nokia to try fix me hp. the stupid nokia ppl wanted to charge me alot of money so i decided to take vivian's advice and try self therapy. so i brought my sick hp home. then we went to heeran, but it was like so dumb there so we went to wisma where i was looking for a present to cheer myself up. bought famous amous in the end. then we went home. reached home around 8 plus... dried my hp more... still cannot on... then chilled and watched the match la! now i waiting for brazil to start
go brazil!!!