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Louiza Starr
The year is 2010. Apart from the traditional resolutions of not being lazy, having more patience et cetera, I also declared this year "The Adventure". Primarily, this is because I have no idea where I'd be at the end of the year. For the first time in my life, there is no "exam that I know I would have completed" or "school that I would be admitted into". I can be anywhere on earth by the last day of 2010. And that is what excites me, cos I can't wait to live it through and discover where I will be, who i will meet - new friends, new lovers. The possibilities are endless. And as I put my capabilities and personality to the test, I invite you to travel with me through this adventure and observe, as I live out the new decade.
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Shoo
title: *my Countdown to Christmas....
date: Saturday, April 28, 2007
i can't wait for Christmas.
woke up early today at like 10am after sleeping at 10pm. felt like a kid again watching disney channel in the cool atmosphere of the morning, munching on food no one would call breakfast. funny how i could turn out right on junk. love my family.
so it rained as i slept. how nice. rain has now become a thing i hope for everyday. it makes me happy. amidst the stress, hot weather... yeah... rain cools it all down.
watched jake long. it was their christmas episode. yup. can't wait for christmas. every year its nice. i'm either in a snowy land, or my house gets snowed up. eitherways, its nice to see people around. fun, laughter, it's like a perfect end to a tiring year.
last year christmas was here, home. i remember how as usual the whole house was packed, decorated. had martin over. and my mother would keep asking the both of us to hide in the room to wrap up some last minute presents.
the year before, i was in switzerland. there were reindeers walking along the streets.
this year, i want to be in america again. i hope.
its going to be rather different this year, christmas. as much as i'm scared to see how it'll turn out, i'm rather excited. regardless, i'll have martin around for sure.
yup, i can't wait for christmas, the reward for the exhausting year. especially this year. my years just get harder and harder. i thought last year was the shittiest year of my life. heartbreaks. but no, this year is worse. this year its harder. i'll work towards it. i know we'll be happy in the end.
i can't wait for christmas.
i miss my friends. i miss vivian and cheryl. never missed them so much before. they symbolise carefreeness. but now, we're all so caught up. i hate to see them sad.
then wad's love?
love is when you find someone you can walk ugly beside, and he'll still call you beautiful.
he's the only one who likes ur hair messed up.
he's the one who tells you
you're pretty when you feel like you look like shit. he's the one that blames himself first when he sees you sad. when its raining in your head, he'll give you sunshine in his hugs.he never shouts at you
never want to correct your mistakes, only wants to change himself.
gives you whatever you want and more.
he can be comfortable around you, he's different when he's around his friends
yet he still listens to you even when he's not around.
he never wants to make it hurt.
he touches you and feels guilty because he thinks he doesnt deserve you
he holds your hand wherever you go
there's really someone like that out there...
i found him, just wait...
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title: waiting on the world to change
date: Saturday, April 21, 2007
so i feel like i've hooked up with my best friend. nothing describes it more accurately. as usual, today i had a beautiful, awesome time.
dragged myself out of bed today at 7plus, or rather dragged ourselves out of bed. was gna have ki lesson at miss quek's house tt was due to start at like 9... it took so long to finally get out of bed. and as usual darls called me to get up. i feel pretty bad that i had to ruin his saturday, the only day he can sleep in. but he's really so sweet. insisted that he sent me there. all the way to paya lebar... yawns.. thank heavens he was there to send me, made the hassle so much more manageable.
today miss quek said if a guy ever hits you, even if he apologises walk out immediately! cos he will do it again! then i felt happy. cos martin NEVER hits girls especially me! but i hit him. and he tolerates.
had lesson till like 2 something. gawsh i was so exhausted. brain was fried. ooh but guess who was waiting downstairs for me. babes! he's really the best. never been with someone like him. i've been with someone before who also fetched me everywhere i went. but with martin its different. there's so much LOVE and FUN whenever i'm around him.
i was like so having a headache at that time due to the loong lesson. but he was there to take care of me. then i told him bout the hitting thing. and i said yesterday he hit me while we sleeping so many times. then he say accident.
he brought me lunch at new york post in citylink.. yep decided to try out that place. not bad. i like their ribs.
he bought me a present todayy. a necklace that had many goodluck charms on it. happy.
i was really feeling lazy and tired after the BIG lunch. no energy to shop. i was like dying at topshop. so in the end, decided to screw the shopping and go take a stroll at esplanade.
sat near the river, at ice cream! but mine kept like melting okay! so unfair. so i kept switching with him. :) watched ppl go by.... boats.... laughed at some crazy scene kids... mats... minahs... and basically enjoyed one another's presence.
its really hard to record down every single detail about all the fun and lame jokes we cracked. honestly no matter how good my memory, i cant recall every thing without him doing evaluation of the day with me like we do every night. but tonight he has a headache. so i forced him to sleep. the times we laughed at the same time, said EWW at the same time whenever we see someone with a total fashion disaster, laugh like crazy people at something only both of us find funny like how sweaty we are. the fun was just too much to be all written down here.
today i saw a very young couple. like 13? somehow i thought it was sweet. reminds me of my relationship with bryan. when both parties are so childlike and innocent. i looked at them and envied the freedom of young emotions they could feel but at the same time, i thanked God for the experience i've gained through these many years which allowed me to make wise choices and wind up with the man that was holding my hand. our journey wasnt an easy one, but we pulled through anyway.
after that decided to walk to peninsula. saturday=scene day. so we saw many idiots dressed in their so-called culture. some or most looked like shit. so more laughing. hahs...
decided to take a bus back. in the bus martin slept on my shoulder, as i dozed off as well. after sending me home, our day ended.
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while walking to esplanade, martin saw this teen with his family (all foreigners) holding his grandma's hand, walking and jumping around.
with a wise tone in his voice, martin appealed what's wrong with that boy?
caught off-guard by that unusual question, i didnt have an answer.
the boy turned around and i noticed that he had Down's syndrome.
martin then answered his own question.
there's nothing wrong with him.... he's perfectly normal.
as i saw the boy smile at his family and laugh along with them, i recognised the beauty that my husband was easy to catch on. and i nodded.
yes...
any child will be blessed to have martin as a father.
