jellybeanies
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1.3o now. no idea how i actually survived the whole dat from like nearly 7am till now with only 1 hour's sleep. went to sch for the council meeting. martin brought me. and made me toasted bread. at the bus stop we saw a lot of matrips who were like martin's friends. he was like "dint noe matrip activate in the morning" then they were like "fuck u la work la." haha. meeting was like damn borring.... now tmr i gotta go ritz carlton for the stupid prom. and today all of a sudden i'm a receptionist. so like while everyone else could go back at 9.30, me and the other receptionists had to like stay back to set up distribution of the tickets for the j2s at 10am. i tell u.. that was hell. i was partnered with sadiq, my beloved pw member. and the j2s were like so charging at us. so busy. its like the hardest i ever worked for council man. i was like so damn thirsty after asking thousands of ppl "table number please?" "may i see ur ic?" "are you allergic to anything?" argh! but it felt kinda good that i was finally doing something for council. well then kartik came to sch to collect his leaving cert. he hanged round me awhile. then martin came back to sch. i think cos of my complaining and cos he miss me! haha. i was still at my booth but things were slowing down... everyone else's booths were like doing the checks... and countings... me and sadiq finished like 1st! yay so effecient right? so then there's this ite kid sitting next to me. so irritating. swearing at everything at sight in hokkien and canto, blasting hardcore on his hp. other councillors were like wondering wad the hell he was doing there. but i guess he's pretty famous. few of them already noe him. lol.... then i was like martin just shhhh! had to keep lowering the level of his hp... had to keep whacking him. but he was soo cute. in the end he just sat next to me and drew. yea, on one piece of paper. turned out masterpiece as usual. so like me and sadiq were like waiting soo long cos we all had to go see reynolds at like.... 12? but everything got so damn delayed. i kept complaining to that jiten, my new skinhead fren, hahaha. (im not punk!)he was like ya la. reynolds dunno when to meet us... blahblahblah. so it took sooo long... finally when it was time to meet him it was like already 1. i told martin to go home first cos it might take long. at the meeting room, met reynolds. he briefed us then he left, leaving us with rod monterio. gosh the rest was damn borringg.... i was like drawing on my hand cos i dint have paper.... i think someone tot i was msging cos they msged me to stop -_-. well then i really had bad gastric so i just decided to go. i did.... went to martin's house for lunch. cos i was damn hungry!!!! went dere he sacrificed his lunch for me. he ate bread instead. i ate his food. sad right. then cos i had like only one hour slp, after that he played com while i lied down awhile... then after that he wanted to slp too. but wad happens when 2 retards try to slp? well iy doesnt happen cos they dont slp. no its not sex. just that we were really acting like retards. laughing fighting pulling blanket faking my cousin that i joined a damn serial gang which threw me a bday party... laughing somemore! everytime we say "okok lets sleep" one of us will burst out laughing. then his dad kept walking in the room. and when he did we'll pretend to slp. when he's out we'll burst out laughing. then we turned on the radio and started laughing at the songs. we are nuts. so yea dat dint work out. after giving up, we went to walk joy. walked to central, martin bought bubble tea. then we walked awhile... played fetch with joy. so fun. and she went to attack a dog but the other dog was so obedient dint fight back... power.... playing was so fun man... throwing the keys for joy to fetch. then me and martin playing monkey with joy being the middle person.... finally walked home all exhausted... at his house decided to take a bath... then he did the sweetest thing, he blowdried my hair, brushed, combed, and tied it in a nice bun. no guy ever did that. his mom's a hair stylist. but he was nothing like gay. he hold the comb like wanna kill something. keep dropping the thing. the stupid hair dyer kept blowing at my face. like as though wanna burn me. hahaha. then had dinner.... after that, hung out awhile... then went to walk me home.... hanged out under my block with ben and biol. then went home. then.... play guitar... the oc... and here. yea. its a nice day. this blog post cant describe it accurately. its more than words.


im at martin's house now... yea erm i dunno wad to blog about i had a damn long post that i wrote before this but u noe wad... screw that shit. cos like it keeps getting interrupted. like going out... and stuff. haha. well see u when i get home.


time now is 4am, 27 nov. but i gotta blog about my bday. cos its supposedly an important day. and yes it was more fun than i expected it to be, considering the fact that i dint really bother about my bday this year. lets make this quick cos i gotta get some slp. waking up early tmr. martin planned a day out for me. k firstly this is me now. in pyjamas and with shane, my new big teddy. sweet.

k firstly today, woke up and realised that vicente got to go church with me cos he dint wanna go with my mom and my sister. so had to go early cos daddy didnt want vicente adapting to my late habits. martin came over and the 3 of us went to church. at mass, met ppl... yup mass was the usual... after mass, met more ppl! and my bro got the cheek to ask jonathan for coins. haha to buy drink. so thick skin. lol. in the end more ppl kept contributing coins. fonz gave, martin gave, in the end there was extra and we started giving out free money to each other. wad a nuisance right? cause so much hassle my bro. oh wells. walked to tm, on the way everyone suddenly realised it was my bday and everyone said together "happy birthday louiza!" dang! secret out. heex. separated at tm, 3 of us decided to go eat at ljs. actually not 3 of us. 2 of them. vicen and martin. so idiot. i hate ljs. its getting on my nerves. every damn week. oh wells we ate there.... then we actually finished early but SOME PEOPLE had to be so damn engrossed in the psp. wads with guys and stupid games man. come one we're out!! well nvm i sat there patiently... when it was FINALLY over, went to go check out movie timings cos vicente wanted to watch happy feet (he chose the movie) for my bday (so much for my bday more like his bday.) went to century and saw that the earliest show was at 4.15. it was only like 2.50 so we decided to go check out tm. down there the earliest was 3.30 but the seats were like fuck so we ended up taking an even later timing, 4.30. -_- if only some ppl dint play so long. zz. well martin paid for the tickets! so nice of him. my bro was pretty happy. oh and in the queue, which was fucking long, there was this mom who kept shouting at her children cos they were running off. so martin pretended to shout at vicente. haha. super funny. anyway, with like so much time, we decided to go walk walk... so first we went to toys r' us. went there... and vicente just went wild. me and martin just followed... and it was like super crowded so we ended up losing him like so many times then martin would shout "VICEN!!!" then the fella will appear and stuff. and he kept traumatising this salesman. dunno wad he was asking but everytime when we lose contact with vicent we would find him talking to this worker there and the worker will be like literally trying to run away from my bro. haha. martin had to practically drag my bro away from the guy. lol. then me and vicente threw balls around while martin kept putting them back. he went to examine the kiddy skateboards. haha. then we went to the soft toys section where martin did like choke slam on a giant elmo. the impact was super loud my bro was so embarrassed he walked away. haha. i was like laughing my ass off. after toys r' us... we went to popular. where we saw happy feet merchandise, and martin read to vicent some lame ass happy feet book. then we went to the pen section and like started trying out pens, like which ones could write best on skin, so yea you get the picture. but me and martin were more artistic than vicente. he ended up with an arm full of shit. i demanded that martin go wash it all off. but before that we dropped by yamaha... martin bought picks then we went to the toilet to wash. after that, we were dragged into gaming shops by my bro. then we went to adidas.... etc i have no idea what else we did but we walked like ALOT! and it was so fun cos martin was like taking care of vicente. hahaha. OH! and we went to times where there was this like egg thingys to hatch ur own creature martin was so damn nice he bought for vicente a turtle egg! and then the whole while after that we were not allowed to knock or hold it tightly. -_-. finally we went to the cinema. bought popcorn like 3 mins before the show starting. the q was damn long i tell u and ppl were like cutting queue like shit. martin was like "not happy ah! wahlau cut queue somemore who cut queue!" vicente insisted on the happy feet combo, seriously man i think its so more like his bday than mine. then in the cinema, watched the movie. it was funny!! damn funny! haha. when it was over, daddy and joana were like on their way down to bring me go eat at swensons. (tradition) the tradition couldnt be complete without debbie, even though we drifted apart it would still be different without her. so i invited her. and she came!!! so happy! while waiting for them to arrive, 3 of us went out to the outdoor area where some lame ass jap super hero show was about to start. lol. martin push my bro to the audience area. lol. but my bro's like wayy cooler for that shit. then we went to isetan mango where we met my dad and sis. wanted to buy jeans, mango not nice... we went to levis. and i was like trying out.... martin was so sweet, just waiting there and being patient. i wanted an ex jeans so in the end dad said he'll get frm airport to get discount. and martin was like "so spoilt... etc." )=.... well then we walked to swensons and its like gone man! like just closed down... died! managed to get debbie, phew. so then we all decided to go to airport! went there... queue was fucking long... waited... the person doing hosting was that stupid nurwati. and so paiseh. i got the number of ppl wrong. and i think she recognised me and debbie cos we always get into trouble there. well we recognised a lot of bitchy ppl today. the only nice one was like jimmy. and the waitress serving us was like so uneducated, couldnt even speak english properly. so then i was like saying that after we left their standards totally dropped. haha. i mean they even changed the uniform to some white stupid t shirt. yes it was happy feet and all but it looks so selenger.... like pasar malam sia. the material looked so cheap. ew. had dinner... fun stuff. then as we walked away from the restaurant, i saw ah soon!! yes! that brunei chef debbie had a crush on and liked me. he's quite cute for a bruneian. hahaa.i said hi and he recognised! whoo! haha. then omg straight after that i saw that butch! the one at citylink that time who asked for my number! yea! she was walking towards me with her frens... my memory went click click. and i was like wait.... and she turned back and looked at me and started grinning n i waved and for a distance we just kept waving at each other. my parents and debbie thought i was mad. haha. martin was jealous. but dont worry i'll so never turn gay man. (= then we took bus.... dropped vicente and joana off home. daddy and mummy went to eat. me and martin took a night walk... bought snacks from 7 11 again then went to our spot. then talked about the day, and then we went home.. let me upload some pictures okay...
vicente called this the formal photo of our group. haha... so from left to right... debbielouizavicentemartin
and so vicente called this our "fun shot"
and this is debbie.
its her bday... yet she's emo...
is she high? no... she's just emo.
@our spot.punkrockid+emokid. save me.... )=

p.s. thanks everyone for all the wishes... love u guys.

k yesterday was weird. too much to blog about i think, so yea just take it as a weird day. martin, "harry potter can kiss my bum". well yea. i think after yesterday i can forget about harry potter as my first choice for my philosophy project and just move on to my 2nd choice which is satanism. i think i can relate better. but thats just if i'm still in the stupid class. oh wells important announcement.
i am pretty sure that there are readers who regularly visit my blog. (yes i can tell from the high ratings). i'm not gonna be all diva here. i really really appreciate you guys for being here. shows that there are people who actually bother about my life, or at least are interested in it. somehow thats kinda like motivation for me especially cos i'm all emo and fucked up about life. it has kind of become a routine for me to go live my day and come back here at night and report my fucked up experience on life, my thoughts about things in the world. and whats better, you guys are actually there to read them. so getting to the point, tomorrow's my birthday. and no i'm not asking for presents from you guys. honestly i seriously dont give a fuck about my birthday this year. the whole year's been fucking fucked up for me. this is like the first year in my life that i'm totally not excited about my birthday. i even find it sort of a drag. ok im diverting. back to the point! i wanna personally thank each and everyone of you. so it'll be awfully nice if you guys emailed your particulars to me. yep! all you dear ppl who keep coming to this unworthy blog, who give your time to my rantings even though i so dont deserve it cos all the stuff here's mostly crap, yup. this emokid wants to thank you. so the adds louizajoseph121@hotmail.com talk to me, rant to me, tell me your comments about this blog (negative or postive) if negative i wouldnt mind arguing with ya. haha. seriously. just let me know you're alive. you dont even have to identify yourself. you can even go... hey louiza your blog fucking sucks. youre just a loser who's ranting on and on about how life sucks. just go die if you want to.
haha. i really wouldnt mind. i'll play along and argue back cos basically its human instinct to defend right? the main objective here is to let me know you exist. so yeap. and nice comments wont hurt either. and yea i'll definitely reply. and who knows i might even blog your mail here. (that is if you let me.) so yes. feel free alright. im sure that small bit of u wants to communicate with the owner of the fucked up blog you keep visiting. oh and questions are welcomed. i'll answer to my discretion. duhhh.


yea. im playing punk. i hate my day. today just fucking sucks. really. things are not as surfacial as they seem. there are so many deeper shit happening. somehow i feel that no one can understand me right now. yea i feel alone in the emotional department. got home at 3.15am? now is nearing 5. havent even bathed or anything. thats how emotionally troubled i am. cant even do anything properly. to the outside eye, seeing my day from the outside doesnt seem so bad. but inside, i think a lot. i feel a lot. sometimes maybe my brain and high iq is a weakness of mine. it thinks unconsiously. i dont have to activate anything. but then again that makes me more aware of everything right? brings me closer to perfection in the analysis department. k whats all this about departments. starting to sound really lame. k let me bring you guys to what normal people will see from the outside. basically, what happened today.
today. got woken up by kartik and suddenly i have a thousand calls and decisions to make. and then i started to think. that seems to be my routine these days. i seem to be sleeping really into the day. then i only get up when i receive a call. and that call usually determines what i do for the rest of the day. well anyway back to the story, finally had my plan for the day, went online for awhile and thats where things went ugly with concern to kartik. basically i chose to be not bothered by the mishappenings. i think i chose correctly. no point being upset over a matter concerning kartik. been there a thousand times and with the shit that was going to happen as the day passed, it was worth saving my concern for. i think today my time at home was the best i ever had in weeks. had lunch with vicente. (a very late lunch. it was more like dinner for him) at 6.15 we went downstairs tgt to meet his friend who wanted to talk to my bro abt some tortoise nonsense.... then had some fun as well... there was dis boy from my bro's sch who called my bro from the 4th floor then my bro and his friend decided to go to the opposite block 4th floor to look across and see who the person was. they were like shouting at each other some nonsense. quite funny to see those small ppl battle it out, trying to outdo each other's wits. well after that went home, and was pretty proud with what i did next. I FOLDED MY CLOTHES! yes finally! not some... but ALL! how sweet is that? listened to boring hardcore as i folded. but yea it did help. then vicente and i kept listening to barbie girl by mxpx for a while. that boy's obsessed with that song now. after that i washed the dishes!!! yup! all of them! and i made my bed, and cleared my desk. accomplishment. today at home was fruitful. then i bathed and went out to meet martin.
ytd we planned to go on a late night adventure. yepp. get some snacks from cheers at downtown and just go chill at the beach. dress code was "prepare for winter". cos the last time we hiked out at the beach at night we both were freezing. he brought jacket. i wore cargo pants and soccer socks with skate shoes. those were my anti-freeze policies. i was trying a punk look. quite disappointing i dint have proper 3 quarts. well we bought chips more. (martin chose my favourite flavour) ice lemon tea (martin stop drinking green tea after hanging out with me cos i hate green tea) and chocolate. then i wanted ice cream. martin took care of that. oh and in cheers were like cursing and making noise. we are seriously crazy ppl. but thats what makes us care free. thats was i love about his company. while walking to our usual spot, came across sofie who was having some class chalet. walking on, we kept making fun of the nerds who were acting cool by taking chalet and drinking for the first time. hahha.
at our spot, many things happened. i learnt about things that i need to know more about. and i did things which i hope i dont regret. and being with martin, everyday is learn-something-new day. so i learnt about the stars today. started to drizzle. walked to sofie's chalet. met rashidin there, yay one familiar face. met new ppl. and suddenly im dat tpjc girl. haha.... they were telling me dey ite. wanna noe me. since martin ite also. well haha. quite fun talking cock with them. pretty nice ppl. martin was like fighing with some person, nearly hit me in the process... shafiq or something blocked. then he even said hi to one girl. hais why am i affected? then clinton called and some trouble started with martin and him. i give up. seriously. i dont wanna give a shit about what happens between those two. i just wonder why that martin bothers. then walked home. was already feeling shitty. so i was just getting really pissed. scolded clinton when he answered the phone. shouted at martin the whole way. i even got into trouble with a taxi driver. i was damn pissed with drivers stopping in front of me, tinking i wanted them. i gave the finger to one. and he actually came out to confront me. scolded me say i playing punk. i just dint bother. ate chocolate and just stared at him. yea im punk. cant u tell. im sitting in the middle of the road. eating chocolate. im not playing. come to think about it. i dont feel emo today. instead of being sad i actually got pissed. i was damn dazed by everything. my emotions by that time was already at its peak. martin took care of everything... then i jumped over a bangla. dont ask. played at a stupid playground, then went home. and couldnt do anything cos i was feeling terrible so i wrote down all my feelings on papers... then blogging now. sorry martin for not picking ur calls. u'll understand the day u want to. i just want to be alone.
emotional part of the day, i was fucked up by the stuff that happened. dont ask. hard to explain. its all in the papers next to me. the papers that only vivian saw. i so want to show it to u martin. but im scared u dont understand.

here's the punk effect i wanted. hahax.... go figure.




k i shall blog a bit earlier today just in case later i'm too tired to. today i slept late into the day. so much for waking up early to study. well my mood was recorded in my previous post, so you guys get the picture. i finally had the energy to bathe... then i went to eat lunch... but awfully slowly. just the mood i guess. after that the sweetest thing hAppened.
martin asked me go out. well more like persuaded. he wanted to bring me loyang point macs to make sure i study. yea. to basically just sit next to me and watch me study. and thats exactly wad he did. he brought his work to do (which was so fun to do, just drawings.) but in the end he dint even do any work. he was more like doodling and eating chocolate. but thats ok cos his doodling is awfully nice. and he was sweet. kept feeding me chocolate. and i think he got really bored cos then he started drawing on my arm his stupid version of gangster tattoos... but mine instead of dragons or kois was a cute lil doggy. haha. and his stupid flames. oh wells like i said at least his drawings are nice. and yea he's a cute boy. he totally let me do my work made sure he wasnt much of a distraction... was playing with my graphic calculator.. his version of a gameboy. but despite all the time he gave me i couldnt really do some questions. was damn hard. dint really pick up as much from the last tuition session. i think later i got to go through the notes myself. sharul came after awhile... with his gf. he was like "martin dont tell me you're teaching her" hahaha.... oh well at least he tried to. but his version of parameter was different from mine. haha. time passed damn freaking fast. then we walked to central for dinner cos martin refused to send me home without dinner. we both got scared by cockroaches! fuck them! i so hate them. after that went homes! so now im here. martin was just really so sweet lar. thanks okay. even though u were extremely bored u still accompanied me. thanks a lot!
shahrin is de no. 1 fan of this blog
if they're not down with dat, go lick his crack!
oh and i love u shahrin!!! the coolest dude on earth. hahx.


just woke up... like 20 mins ago... but i'm feeling too ugh to go bathe... so right now i'm like on my bed with chanel blogging this. think after this i'll go bathe and have lunch. im fucking hungry. then the whole day i shall do math. yeap got tuition with kartik tmr.


their single when you heart stops beating is pretty good. i think i'll check that band out more soon... its almost 4am. no idea what to really blog about. i'm too lazy to blog about my day. it was a long and tiring one. just for the record, it was MARTIN'S DAY. yeah. i think i'm so screwing up my holidays man. no accomplishment on anything man, academically. fuck. i feel so freaking useless in that area. and my life's a mess. guys are like screwing everything up. sometimes i wonder why i care.
kartik : yes its over, but its irritating that you keep telling me you've changed and yet we both see you doing nonsensical things. think. think. think.
clinton : i just lost most attraction for u. really. u're just so rude. and i can see that you're so not bothered to keep things together. missing calls... missing msgs... sometimes i get the feeling you keep thinking everything's about you. (same goes for you kartik.) clinton i really liked u. it was quite a huge crush. but the horrid impression you gave, wow. i have high tolerance. but after all my bastard relationships i cant settle for 2nd best anymore. really. you messed everything up to the point i felt it was so useless to carry on. and i guess thats when i messed things up too.
martin : yes u're oh so nice to me. i cant seem to find any real significant faults. except that maybe u gotta be nicer. yes. nicer. sometimes you say insensitive things aka meanie. and you gotta start being serious about life. im not asking you to be a boring person. but i want you to really think about the very important things in life. for example your future. that is ultra important. dint it ever occur to you the importance of a stable future if u ever plan on supporting me? so if you love me you gotta think about me and my future as well. other than that, going out and fucking other ppl's life up, and being an idiot and irritating ppl on the bus etc. go ahead.
boysboysboys. argh. sometimes i wonder... is there ever a perfect one? sorry if this post sounds so direct and shitty. i just feel really shitty now. u noe wad im so not gonna care. impress me. show me how nice you really are. today a guy added me on msn. vivian's picture was on display. i just told him i was lesbian and she was my gf. bugger off.
you are really nice to me please dont ever change that. dont ever treat me like her or anyone. please? please take good good care of me. dont make me cry like the others. and if i do, please dont walk away and leave. instead wipe my tears and make me smile the way you always do. i promise i'll be good. i really will. i'm a good girl. i swear. just dont make me sad and i'll be the best ever. thanks for feeding me today. i was damn lazy to eat. and thanks for caring about my studies. sorry if i get jealous easily thats just louiza and her spoilt brat attitude. but other than dat im pretty much easily pleased. u should noe. i laugh at ur smallest nonsense. cos its really funny. and hee... i dunno. and dont make me ever do anything i dont want. please? cos that just sucks. so yea. and thanks for the chocolate! yup!! and i hope u listen to me more. cos its mostly for ur own good. like crossing the road and not touching dirty things. and right now i want you to not irritate your parents so u gotta listen to me too. k? thanks for being patient with me and always giving in. you make me feel special. and dont ever tak layan me. )=


today is a lonely day. yup day. surprisingly no one called or msged me today. until maybe night time the calls came in and i started chatting on msn with my fav ppl, vivian and martin. i dont think i blogged ytd... yea cos i was too tired to. i came home at 3am. hmm... wads there to blog... today i went mass late.... really late... i think next week i'll start going early. have to. cant be a Catholic this way... martin was having some troubles... we walked to tm for lunch. ljs again. saw aug there. i so dint wana eat there. he was alone. then the group walked in. and even more i dint wanna eat there! like it would be just so omg. like wad was i supposed to do? it was just so damn inhumane. like. i feel sorry for him. but lucky he left early. then we ate.... then after slacking for smoke martin and i went home. yea wanted him to go home early. so dats pract my day.
went home did my tuition hw. yupp tuition. oh yea kartik giving me tuition. started ytd. he seems pretty changed, which is good. then i wanted to study but i got bored so i started playing guitar... surfing... watching tv.... haha. but now i decided to stay up to do work and study. just like O lvls. but i was more like watching hbo most of the time. oh and im so damn hungry!! like super hungry!!! how?! :(


aite i feel super guilty kay. the past few days ive been going out and not staying home much at home. with college, friends, i think i've neglected my house esp my bro. like today he wanted me to bring him fishing. but i had to go court. so yea stuff like that. and today when he came back he wanted to show me his crab that he caught but i was already rushing off to martin's house. so thats another dumb example of me. and my dad was cooking dinner and i told him im not eating in. i cant remember the last time i did eat in. so u noe wad, i'm going to make a checklist of things to do today, as in later.

LOUIZA'S STAY HOME TO-DO LIST

1. fold my mountain of clothes.
2. finish research on UN
3. do one sbq and send to cheng
4. watch wwe with vicente.

k so im feeling woozy and dried up now. like ew. i think its cos i had a long nap in the bus on the way home. yea now is 5.30... came back at like 5 from a day out with martin and pawents! had to like so drag myself out of bed in the morning. but its for a good fren so why not? pretty pleased i could wake up for once.
looonggg journey to the subcourts. martin made me toasted bread with butter and sugar. me fav. >< really makes me think about considering being with him. but he's still so mean!! mm anyway went there... and stuff got delayed in the end. and we went to check out some funky chinese stuff at the chinatown shopping centre. cool shit. first we went to shop for like groceries... martin's mum.. and me and martin were like playing. haha. damn funny i told him how i used to as a kid always break the very-straight noodles. and then martin and i started breaking and laughing. everythg noodly we break. then martin was like talking cock and joking with his parents. he pretended to steal some stupid biscuit thingy. damn funny. hhaa. then we went to this top floor where there were some cool herbs and shit. like there were preserved frogs... and even a preserved deer penis. i was pretty facinated by this thing called funfai or something. this white rocklike thing... pretty cool. powdery surface. hah. then we took a bus to peninsular to buy skate shoes for martin.... the shop lady was like talking to his mom for very long. i was like just examining my surroundings... waiting patiently like a good girl. (i am) then there was this like man who i think he tot i was the shop person cos he was like about to ask me somethg. hmph if he dared to i wld kill him! so anyway they talking talking... i think they even said somethg about me. i dunno wad. )= but nvm. it was all over. then we walked to funan for lunch. the disgusting noodles i bought was so damn tasteless. like urgh. and martin finished for me. yay. oh and we were like laughing over the taxi driver techno song. i think his parents tot martin was being rude. but it was a joke between us and super funny to add at that. heex.
then we went to take 12 home. waiting for the bus was funnest. i was taking the jacket and putting on martin's head and he was pretending to be a boxer. damn funny made me laugh like hell. in the bus i was already super sleepy. i wanted a "cosy environment" so i used the jacket as blanket. then martin said i look like small girl. hmm.... is that a good or bad thing?... hm..... still thinking.... maybe one day he will tell me the answer... hmm.... then i fell asleep. while listening to rock man. typical me. i remember i used to listen to blink to slp.
INTERUPTION! martin just came to my door to take his 10 dollars. to buy cigarettes i think. hmph! i dont like him anymore. cos of reasons i'll talk about in a while. BACK TO THE POST....
then i woke up.... and realised tampines already. then i told martin i think i'll go home first to do some work and bathe then maybe later i come over for dinner. and he was mean.... )= like he say OK BE GONE!! like be gone.... be gone like some goner. zzx. then i said call me kay? and he say WHO WANT CALL U! then he go. like so meeeann..... meanie.

i hope he becomes nicer. )=


today was generally a ketawa day. like everythg was so fucked up man. like we went everywhere and was like making fun of everything sia... martin was acting fucking gay and like he had a lot of chia lat weird stares cos he was pretty loud in expressing his gayness. so yea. the shop ppl were like giving weird stares and the public were like "huh?" damn funny. cos then everytime someone saw we will like run away laughing. wad a dumb shopping experience sia. couldnt see clothes in peace cos he will start commenting like some gay fag. then i'll be too embarassed to carry on looking so in the end i'll just run in the opposite direction. but it was ultra fun. we walked a lot... and made fun of a lot of ppl... hahaha. esp the clothes that were striped. stupid emo trend. so damn dumb. we kept seeing them in every shop sia! walked round the whole of marina sq then we went to walk to peninsula... where we were making fun of ppl as well... then we took 12 home. and that was where the stupid shit started. two indian girls came up and say next to us. and like they sorta showing attitude. and started talking in tamil. then me and martin started talking malay. and started just talking cock which was super funny. and then like after they got down we still laughing like fuck and when we see indians outside the window we'll burst out laughing. the bus ppl were like irritated sia. they kept turning around to the back cos we were laughing so damn loudly. but it was just that it was super funny. who ask those two to show us attitude? haha. they lar. spark off everything. after that we just fell asleep. hah. then i went home.... took a bathe and decided to go to martin's house for dinner. watched final destination 3. not bad show. but the plot is nthg new. oh wells. then me and martin used some markers to decorate his window. lol... and i purposely write a lot. (= and he had to clean off all later. haha. i just sat down playing with joy. then after that he walked me home. yay. nice day.
p.s. we are not racist. we were just joking around in response to the attitude the girls were giving us. it just so happened they were indians. yup. so dont bite my head off. im indian anyway. ><


okayyy so martin just finished blogging.. you guys can go check that out... we're just sitting here chilling... waiting for some sign to tell us where to go. hopefully vivian calls soon. but i guess she's slping. that sweet girl waited up till 7.30 and called me to wake me up to go sch. ill b back! k that last sentence was done by martin... hes going toilet. hmms... peace at last. lol. went to sch... gave my letter and then took the bus to marina sq... in the bus was fucking funny... there was this guy with a wig in front of us and martin kept disturbing him. i got damn irritated i was like can you just shut up and dont be so mean. then he started taking photos of the guy's head. the guy was like falling asleep. then he was laughing laughing. i got fed up i was like u want photo right? come. i snatched the cam and went damn close to the guy's head. then i zoomed damn near and took photo. by that time martin was laughing like crazy and i was like laughing as well. both of us were like having fits of laughter and the whole bus was turning around to look at us. damn retarded. and now we're laughing again. martin just came back and he's reading this.
well at macs we had lunch and chatted on chanel with sharin. that idiot was like telling me his shit histories. damn retarded. then we went out to the nonaircon place cos we were both damn cold. then now we're hot again so we're back inside. and now we're cold again.
oh!! and just now when we were outside martin kena con by some fuckers. he so gullible sia. just give 2 dollars like dat. haha. and now he's feeling chialat for giving. oh wells. haha. erm i'll update y'all again later! Bye!!!


fuckkk man.... i like woke up late. too late to go to college to present my appeal letter for ki to my ki tutors. the deadline is tmr... just sent miss quek my appeal letter via email. man she's the most charming person on earth man. the epytote of the word charming. on monday when i was in college jean and i spotted her examining the small waterfall at our foyer. as we approached nearer... we saw her smiling... playing with the bamboo and talking to something. we watched in amusement for a while more and when she finally noticed us, we burst out laughing. turns out she was counting the fish. fast-moving fish actually. at first i dint see any. so i told her she's probably dreaming. but she kept insisting. in desperation she took the oxygen tube and put it under the rocks. and the fish came out! so scary they were really damn fast-moving. and of course miss quek was delighted. "see i told you!" wow i have no idea how she managed to count the fast-moving fish. "there's 4 of them! the correct number!" why correct number? well in fengshui 4 or 1 are good numbers for studies. did i mention miss quek is super smart? ><
hmm sorry for not blogging proper posts these days. i've been like super tired at nights and the posts you guys see here were all the nonsense martin and i did at his house out of boredom. oh but i so need to blog about the reynolds meeting. i went in his office, and his question was "on wad basis do you want to take ki next year." every single thing i said, he totally rebutted me. now people, i am a good arguer. i can argue with practically anyone. i argued with exs, teachers, friends, and left all of them speechless. when i went in there i thought to myself, hmm this might be easy. just argue my case. after all he doesnt even teach ki. yeas my stupid ego came out of nowhere. but i felt so damn gundowned in the end man. so i think for 20 mins i was just arguing like some helpless shit who's tries were all being stepped on. for once in a long time i actualy felt stupid and inferior. then reynolds started talking. and the retard me started rebutting him and arguing. then he said "louiza i am disappointed in you. now i'm trying to help you. i'm giving you more sensible points than your senseless arguments and you're trying to attack me?" dumbfounded i took paper and pen and started scribbling. in the end i got a few better points down i got to admit. and we started talking like friendly humans. then i thanked him and went out.
totally respect that dude.


hey u no lifers out there! check out martin's new blog. i linked it here. if you guys are true subscribers to louiza's blog you'll just got to check this shit out to know the full story. in that way all ur kaypo desires will be satisfied... and more!! so yea. till the time u actually get a life... BYE BITCH!


this com sucks. for the first time in my life i'm using a library com. my whole term i've always got out of school as early as possible so i never really bothered to use any of the shitty facilities they have here. yea its all shitty. its either old and disgusting or super useless cos its so damn outdated, for example this stupid com.
i'm feeling so fucked. the whole day has been a waste of time. i dragged myself out of bed at like 8 to come here to meet reynolds. i actually planned on being here by 8 but thank God i dint. because when i reached here at 9, that stupid man was apparently in a meeting and too damn busy to meet me. and the worse part is the clerk says that he will most likely be busy for the whole morning. thus, i found myself stranded with nothing to do.
went downstairs, saw this laid out breakfast buffet shit. so i made for myself some chocolate cereal wish tasted like crap. met jean and as we were talking we met hazimah who surprised us with pleasant news that there's council meeting at 2pm. so like wtf was i supposed to do till 2? and i dont think i can pon again cos my attendance has been real bad. but seriously wad the fuck is wrong with council. its like me and jean never ever noe that dere's meeting. yea once again reynolds is so damn right. the communication sucks.
so then me and jean slacked while i fucked around with that stupid cereal drink. oh and harinder came along and apparently now he's involved with kartik over some shit with martin. number one, kartik started it so i have no idea why harinder thinks its martin's fault. number 2, kartik was really a damn bad bf he shld have been whacked long ago but i am senseful enough to know that a fight is not worth my time and trouble. or other ppl's time and trouble. i'm out of the relationship and thats all that matters. time to move on. my own fault for engaging with a jerk. so only me learn. i dont see how other ppl should get involved. number three, its so none of harinder's business to peace make. i've been doing the job and its working out fine. as long as maritn listens to me no fight can break out. and anyway i'm the one involved in this shit. not harinder. and harinder might not have all the facts right. cos kartik will probably crap around. and number five, martin's going through some bad times i dont want him to be more occupied with other things that are not really calling for priority right now. in other words, people, this is just a relationship in which the couple didnt work out. no point fighting over. it happens everyday. kartik, control ur temper. harinder, you should noe kkartik's temper. and by the way i respect you cos u can control ur temper. and if u guys are gonna fight, i would say its for no damn reason cos i'm not gonna go back with him anyway and really all martin was doing was trying to avoid me from being dragged on the road. seriously kartik u should improve on the way you handle girls.
kay im ranting too much. sorry just dat things are not going the way i'll be happy with. hmm just heard thunder. been in the library just reading up on my UN lecture notes. pretty proud of myself. managed to get that done. it was so darn boring in the library. me and jean started making bird noises. haha. (our typical habit when we're too bored with council.) oh and i saw this guy who looks like clinton! oh gawd got my attention for awhile and helped divert my worries. but oh wells he's gone. worries came back soon after.
so now i guess im gonna slack heree till we decide its time to go for lunch. then we'll have to come back to hell to attend meeting. oh btw, martin's fine. friday is judgement. bleahx.


WE ALMOST DID IT........wad ur dirty mind thinking....we almost had ben fooled......actually we did......hyahahahahahaha EVIL...MUAHAHAHAHAHA....... but he so deserves it cos he's a horny bastard! haha u just got punkd!!!! biatch! this is so trickster! lol. we are the evil people!~! i love u martin! dunno,. stop eating my hair and i'm not smelly u idiot. k fine i dont love u,. yuppp. i dont. u stupid man. LOVE IS ONLY A FEELING! no guy deserves my love. cos ure so funny. aitetetetet..... bealhxf.......
I LOVE LOUIZA !!!!!!!.........and she is SMELLY.
u idiot i'm not smelly. u are smelly. u disgusting shit. dont smell ur armpits lar/ and dont put
oh and now we just let ben hear an ollie. so dat he can believe martin skating. LOL
soo.....hmmm we're like laughing our arse off now
oh wellssssss GTG...brb...
+nd of part 1+


i feel cold. feet and palms are cold. hands slightly trembling. lets talk about today.
i woke up at 11 plus. called the college to check if reynolds was in. office was closed. so i guess i gotta see him on monday. no choice. brought vicente for lunch. it was raining heavily. we walked under umbrellas to central. the small boi kept playing in puddles. boys will be boys i guess. but it was fun. after eating, we walked home. it was nearly 4. decided to go over to martin's to spend my day. but before that i watched wwe with vicente till 5. martin came over to fetch me. still raining. we walked to central. bought our tradition drink, bubble tea. green apple milk tea. i bought for his mom some bread. he bought a loaf. i bought high lighter. we walked to his house. at his house, i played with joy, watched movie, ate. just chilled. then after the movie, martin made me read my UN lecture notes. he actually layed down next to me and went word by word... after that went to 711 bought pocky. walked home with joy. now here. sorry for my way of writing. short sentences. im just really tense. realyl really tense. i need to let things out. my hands are shaking. really. shaking. i want to say so much. but i think i'll just keep it inside.
fuck.


took vivian's advice. make travis my imaginary bf so my love for travis wont be mixed up with the decisions i make in life which might cause me to make the wrong decisions. so yes. travis is my imaginary bf of today. 11nov.
think i'm really having a relaxed holiday. like stressless especially with him now gone from my life. time has really sorted things out more clearly for me, just like i wanted it to. so now i think my decisions will be much better. slacked at home today for the afternoon then went to martin's house... then came home... and i think i shall study a bit before sleeping. should i go to school tomorrow to see reynolds? i'm just scared he isnt there. but at the same time scared he's there cos i face a huge possibility of being screwed for my delinquency. bleahxz.


HI I'M LIKE NOW AT MARTIN'S HOUSE THE DOG JOY IS BARKING LIKE MAD. I WONT LET HER BULLY ME AGAIN. NOW MARTIN IS SITTING HERE WITH ME AND READING OUT MY WORDS AS I TYPE IT.... FAST RIGHT? HAAHA... ADMIT IT LA... I'M A FAST TYPE. NO U'RE THE FUCKER. CHATTING WITH VIVIAN AT THE SAME TIME. I LOVE MARTIN. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1K DAT WAS DONE BY HIM.
hmm... wad to do now.... martin wad to do?
Martin: Suck my balls la...........no better yet lets start makin out........
ew... who wants to suck ur balls? i dont mind kicking though. and i'm so not gonna make out with you. eww. and joy just walked in. and she just licked my toes. eww. everything is eww. hahaha. hahahhaahhahahahahaaha
I'm so lame.......hahahahaha...and kartick in malay means SHORT...----->meaning...short down there !!!! hahahahahaha.......and he is soooooo gay.....and such a mommy's boy....AND TO THOSE WHO TALKED SHIT IS LOU'S BLOG ............PEOPLE LIKE BERNICE AND HER>>>>>YOU TWO HAVE REALLY NO LIFE>>>>>LIKE GO MAKE YOUR OWN BLOG AND LIKE LET US DISS U......ohn wait u dont have a life to blog about.....so kiss my bum u bitches<-----martin , u not happy come to lou;s block and find me CHEE BYE !!!!!!
ok back to the show about lou's interesting life.....
k thank you very much martin for that very interesting commercial. yup you viewers heard him. anything just make a visit to pasir ris st.21 block 211. martin and his fellow crew will be happy to assist u in wahtever issue you may be facing.
k now we gotta go. stay tuned for more shit. from the makeout kids.
buay!!!
narr narr
affi dazzi!


12 hours of slp. 3am to 3pm. kinda regret tho. supposed to go college to appeal for my ki. needed to see that stupid man... but i think it'll be too late even if i went now. he shld be gone by now. nevermind i make a pact to go tmr. (= so now wad do i do. got two options... go beach with debbie, go martin house. but wadever it is, gotta remember those resolutions!


before i post anything i want to share with readers a very interesting and strangely relevant article i came across on the net a few minutes ago...

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned
I always have the impression that women are like water, not because I myself am a woman, but just after observing a lot of things. Water seems so harmless, but unpredictable. You don't know what terrible wraths are going to wake up from it when aroused, no matter how calm it looks. Take the sea, for example. The sea never fails to amaze me with its beauty. I'm always so fascinated by it. But look at what happened end of December 2004 - and of course I don't have to mention other disasters that have taken place at the sea before. An earthquake had only to provoke the waters and a lot of people's souls were at the sea's mercy. A woman can love you with all her heart and you may think that she's giving you heaven, but once you break her heart you're going to wish you had never come across her path. Of course not every woman will make your life a living hell after you hurt her. But it's always a possibility. Different woman reacts to a heart-break differently. Some take it as their fault that things don't go just as she wish they would, others take revenge but all of them break down and cry. It's just a matter of time until she heals and stands up again and decide what to do with it. There have been a lot of examples where this pain becomes wrath. How many women have gone to jail because their killed or harassed their men for cheating her? How many literature's finest works describe a woman's fury after deception or betrayal?So I do believe the proverb "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is totally relevant. Never insult a woman, or you'll regret it forever. -rv

moral of the story, seriously dont piss me off. i must say i have a very high tolerance level especially if i really love a person. but if that person ever crosses that line, who would really be wishing you never knew me.

now on to my post.
today was the pw op! thank God its over man. no more hassle about deadlines and the burden of needing to do some shit on the com. no more meetings during my sleep time and no more rehearsing and memorising. now all thats left to do is wait. wait till next year when the results arrive. then we'll the see the worth of our effort.
but suddenly i have the feeling i'll be missing working with my group. somehow now we got this sorta connection. carefree funny random conversations with yensen, lesley and her supply of sweets, genevieve's down to earth comments and humour. we even got closer to sadiq in the long run, something we honestly didnt think possible at the start. the satisfaction today after the presentation was heavenly. sitting at the bubbletea shop with the rainy weather around us, talking crap, drinking our bubble tea and eating tom yum... yea today everyone of us ate tom yum. somehow we actually felt like we accomplished something, something i've never felt since maybe my o lvls. yup glad but somehow sad that pw is over...
how did it go? well honestly i was shivering during my speech. (it got altered like 3 times due to changes in our presentation) remarkably my homies said that i dint look nervous. i hope so cos i totally felt anything far from calm. i think we had some sort of standard. yup. but the irritating thing was that miss cheng of all ppl had to be our examiner. which meant she would cornercorner ppl esp me i felt cos of our regular rifts in history. bleahsx. in the end, she decided to corner us about our skirts. -_-' well fuck it at least its over.
the rain was pouring like crazy as we slacked at the bubbletea shop. i had to walk without shelter if i wanted to make it to a bus stop so i called martin down to fetch me. initially i was supposed to meet clinton to go to gashaus for his band meeting but with the rain and my sickness (oh yea i presented with a bad cough and blocked nose. sick...) i decided to just stay in pasir ris and not go so far.
martin came after awhile. so suay the rain kinda stopped to a slight drizzle just as he came. kinda hard for him to go out these days so we decided to go over to his house. oh and on the bus to his house, miss cheng was there! ahh!
at his house, there around just after 5 i think, i went to play with joy. haha the stupid dog was making fun of me. take the tennis ball then come near me pretend to give me but when i reach out to grab it from her mouth she would suddenly run away and i would have to chase her. but later i got my revenge! while watching bewitched, martin prepared like lots of oreos with milk and i kept tricking her with it. put near her mouth when she wanna eat i pull back and... put it in my mouth! and laugh at her face. hahx. but then she soon got the drift and dint bother to try taking the oreo anymore. so me martin his mom his grandma watched bewitched, and after that the hills have eyes, also pausing awhile for dinner. his dad came back by then and we sat down and slacked awhile... just talked. and oh yea the narr narr mission worked! cos now joy doesnt wanna be joy anymore. hahaha so damn funny and cute. martin's parents were like calling joy to come. and me and martin just whispered narr narr and she came to us instead. and the cute thing even walked from martin's mom to me when i said narr narr. hahaha. i think she's getting badly influenced by me and martin. somehow i feel evil. lol. but she's sooo cutee. was hugging her the whole time during both movies.
went home after awhile.. 10pm okay! so proud of myself. watched wwe with vicente. did him a favour cos if i dint watch he couldnt watch cos my mom doesnt allow him to watch cos he'll always end up whacking my sister. so yea smackdown. then pretty much slacked for the rest of the time, talking on the phone and using msn... took a bath and now here.
now that pw's done, i've thought about some resolutions and stuff i wanna make sure i do for the rest of the holiday. firstly i wanna start revision of my entire j1 work. ok maybe its not revision. more like i wanna learn. haha. "entire" sounds wishful but oh wells aim for the moon and fall among the stars right? haha. and i want to go back to my routine of 120 crunches a day. except on days that i go out the whole day and walk a lot. then maybe i can cut down to 60.
basically the whole sch year has ended... and i have accomplished the hatred of the sch. why the bad reputation? well im guessing its cos of my selfless love for someone. i put aside my reputation and went with someone who was already hated and i guess i became hated as well. why i say this is one reason, well cos before going with this person i was generally quite liked. so now i have a negative tpjc and from what i hear ppl from other jcs hate my guts as well. news travel fast i think. well at least i learnt something from this. never put all ur eggs in one basket. and i guess my instinct failed me this time. there were better ppl around and i decided to go with the one who appeared to be the best but turned out to be the most shallow. regrets regrets. and just now i got angry at this person. and behaved in a childish way i admit. well i guess sometimes anger really gets to u. but its all changed now.
k i think i'm beginning to talk crap and senseless nonsense now and this blogger's starting to lag. better post before all is lost. affi dazzi.




came home super early today. went out to chill with martin... tm and city hall... in the bus saw that guy i always see in church and at airport. from tjc. i said hi and that stupid martin thought the guy like me he shouted fuck you before going down the bus. wad a retard.
i was dressed like a hilly billy today. hahahahs. cos i was cold so i wore a checkered big guy's shirt (kartik's) over my top. looked like a farmer. esp with my denim shorts. but you said i looked like a hot hillybilly. like paris from simple life.
tomorrow's a lvl op. hope my throat heals. =(

thanks for taking care of me. thanks for giving me mcspicy. thanks for keeping me warm. i dont want you to go away. =( i hope monday works out then we can watch top model. and you can say i'm better than all of them again. i dont want to depend on the mats downstairs my house to take care of me if you're gone. you're one friend i dont want to losee...



clogged up. everything is so damn clogged. my blocked nose got worse. my throat feels as rough as ever... phelghm is everywhere. the feeling was so fucking shitty i stayed in bed for an extra hour cos i couldnt get up. i was feeling so fucking shitty... the fucked up part of everything is that tmr is my op. a lvl... fuck. how to do my speech with my shitty condition? i feel so crapped. bleahxzs...
oh yea... now i remember. last night i was talking to clinton on the phone. i guess i fell asleep. im not having pms. i'm not having period. i really have problems. i'm not making life complicated. can u understand that for once? i know u lead a carefree life. some ppl just got problems kay? doesnt mean you have no problems, other ppl's problems are all created by them. i dont think i'm so stupid to create problems for myself to be emo about. i'm not angry. seriously. im just exhausted and sianed out. i dont really wanna start a debate on the genuinity of my problems. so if you dont believe i'll respect that and just let u believe that i created my own problems. sighsx. i got no energy to pursued you to see things in my way. you're right you're pretty stubborn. nothing i can do about that.


dry. thats the only word that describes my day. meaning happiness was scarce both physically and emotionally for me. right now all i feel is lost. and i've come up with a solution, after trying to come up with a better one. i've decided to let time be my mentor. so now all i'm doing is waiting for my situations to get clearer so that i can make real decisions. more accurate ones i hope.
my health is deteriorating. sore throat with a dry lump of phelghm thats too egoistic to come out. it led to a block nose. and for days i've been having mouth ulcers. imagine all this, visualise the pain and the uncomfortability. thats how fucked up my physical state is.
today at my pw meeting i was most of the time head down on the table, slping. cos i was so so feeling like shit. on top of all my ailments i was suffering from gastric. yes. egoistic me did not take my allowance cos i quarrelled with my dad before leaving the house. more drags down my emotions. kartik's apparently very sad with what has set upon us. but yet he says he still loves me. so i was faced with breakdowns from him the whole day. and i was indifferent in reaction. i did not want to break down, i couldnt be happy either. so i put up a front. a strong one. to be strong. for me, and for him. it may have not been the reaction u wanted but thats the best i could do cos i'm having a lot on my mind right now. my life's sucking as well. yes i feel guilt but i dont know how to express that right now, cos expressing that comes with decisions. decisions that like i've mentioned earlier now takes time to become more understandable. sorry.
clintonclinton. thats another slight problem. what happens when expectations come to play? why these expectations? cos what if i feel that you're not really what you claim to be. there's so much more you should do if you claim to really care. open my eyes. open them. so that i will then also know how to carry on.
and throughout the whole day, i had one worry. martin. im scared you really have to go. especially at this time. when i might need you the most. yea. you. the only one who really understands, i hope...

If there's anything to say,
If there's anything to do,
If there's any other way,
I'll do anything for you.


yawns... just woke up. no plans for today. think i'll stay home for once. gonna be bored but oh wells... can fold my clothes.


my feet are sore. i think i've been walking too much these days. and today walking round with heels the whole day dint help one bit. firstly, quite pleased with myself. came home earlier than the past few days. not really early but its an improvement. came back at 1250am. yupyup. wee.
supposed to wake up at 1030 today so that i could meet martin early for once to go mass. but the lazy bum of me dint wake up until 1140. which left me like 20 mins to get ready. i totally felt so damn lazy to dress up and look nice. seriously. i think its cos i've been going out everyday recently that i'm just sick of picking out outfits. and the lack of time just encouraged me to not care. so i grabbed a mango turtleneck long sleeved... and jeans and killer heels. and the best part is i dint use makeup except lipgloss. i felt so not hot. conservative. but i was really too lazy to bother dressing up.
i was late as usual. saw martin. he had a hair disaster. was cutting his emo hair when his mom made it look kinda weird so he ended up wif a mohawk. and the whole day i was like calling him punksai. red and orange mohawk. haha after mass we took a train to town. in the train martin sat on the floor and slept leaning on my leg cos i refused to sit on the floor. and aunties who saw martin and his mohawk kept smiling at me. i felt like as though martin was my pet. funny.
went to skatepark, and met khai he damn pro in skating la. martin cldnt skate cos his trucks were fucked up. we were waiting for vivian so we had time. we followed khai to lucky plaza then to far east to try trade in his hp. so retarded they were showing off their stupid skating skills along the way... at far east met vivian. and i was super happy to see her. and the first thing she asked martin was "omg wad happened to ur hair?!" hahaha. same as me.
we walked around far east... ate lunch... i think vivian was overwelmed in a good way by the retardness and loudness of my frens. so fun!! haha. making so much noise... scolding ppl... so fun! then khai went to skate. me and vivian bought for martin new trucks for his bday. he was awesomely happy. then we walked in the rain to heeran. and we were making fun of angmors on the way dere... lol. at heeran we took stupid neoprints! omg it was so fucking funny. cos me and martin are like so anti-neoprint so we went to screw the whole shit up. the fucking machine kept snapping photos dint even give us time to pose. so we were laughing non stop. and the shit kept taking photos. gawsh i wish i had my hp here i'll take photos of the neoprints and post it up. damn fucking funny. then we decorated the neoprints with not-cutie stuff and more like grafitti. saying things like "fuck neoprints! $10 for this shit!" hahaha. then we walked to wisma... and on the way there... met some teen convict asking for donations. made friends with him! hahah. then we went to topshop. and played with the imac there... took photos. see.

then we started havoc in topshop. more like vivian and martin started havoc. they started smearing each other with some roll-on deodorant. and we ended up chasing each other around. me and vivian always go to topshop and this is the first time we actually started running around. at around 9... we took a train and vivian left us at city hall.

me and martin decided to drop at tanah merah and take a bus to changi for dinner. but we overslept in the bus and ended up at the beach. so we slacked there awhile and at 1130 we decided to go to 7/11 near my house at loyang point to go grab some food. at 12am i wished him happy birthday!!!! yay~~ we ate.. then walked home. under my block saw those malay ppl i was talking abt ytd. the fierce ones. scary. then martin said hi to them... they gave him cigarette for his bday. haha. then i went home.

such a nice nice day. love u vivian!

not too bad. dint wake up so late today. around 2 i think... was too lazy to take out proper food.. so i just had instant noodles. yep i'm so damn pathetic. slacked on the com for awhile... then kartik wanted to meet me at 5 to talk. dint have much plans so i agreed. i was slow-moving the whole day. took damn long to eat.. damn long to start bathing... so i guess i was late in meeting him.
we went to airport swensons to eat.. sir steven... that stupid irene bitch and dat paikia jimmy were working. was quite flustered that they will recognise me. esp steven cos he was one of the few ppl who were nice to me. but that bitch irene i dont think i would have minded she seeing me cos then she'll be serving me! rahh!
after that, we went to slack at the playground near kartik's house, (aka me and martin's new spot) while talking things out... X drives in his car and parks nearby. he walks to his house then walks back to his car and stays in there. i clap my hands and swear loudly. X saw but dint seem to recognise me and kartik. kartik almost freaked out. oh wells. after that i dint want kartik sending me home. so i saw him off then walked out...
and walked past X's car. with him still in there. knocked the window. said hi. and he said that he dint wanna go home cos there were some relatives visiting that he dint wanna meet. then he offered to send me back cos he was just killing time. nothing to do. yup plenty would say i was dumb and stupid but i accepted the ride. cos anyway i was still pretty early to meet martin. and i was curious to find out if he's wad the rumours say he is. yup curious dumb louiza. went to get chocs from petrol kiosk. then went to slack awhile before he dropped me off at white sands. man the rumours were somewhat true. he kept digging into my love life and actually displayed joy at my break up. hmm... oh wells now i noe wad approach to take. STAY AWAY.
met martin, decided to go slack at the beach... ran into some malay friends of his. the scariest ever to me man. all looked like matrips and all. scarier and more rowdier than the ones downstairs my house. lucky martin was dere. =( then we went downtowneast to get some snacks first. and ran into shaun and eddie. slacked at the beach... chased stupid mudskippers... ate our snacks. then we walked home. came home around 2. once again i feel guilty. its killing me man.


gnar gnar! pronounced "narr narr" me and martin's new vocab. haha. narr narr... addictive. well i woke up at 1 plus... with the burden of my stupid inr. which was due today. dint noe wad the fuck is inr cos i never went to pw lessons during the period they were teaching inr. so i had to get the files and info... frm my frens... so lazy and sianed... at 2 plus martin went jamming and he was meeting his bandmates downstairs my house at 32. and it was kinda raining the fucker was standing in the rain. my bro was opening the window to say hi. -_- the rain was coming in my room and i was so scared it fell on chanel (laptop) it was so frustrating. so i called martin told him to get the fuck out of the rain. and he actually listened. quite comical seeing him run out. entertained my bro. started doing my inr at like only 4 plus... when it was finally done, i found myself with the new burden, of bringing it to sch... so i called miss loh and she told me to bring it tmr... so yea.. chatted online after that... finally got to talk to debbie and shaun for after so long man. felt like i recovered 2 friends.. esp debbie. so long friends.
at 7 supposed to meet martin. brought vicente down at the same time to accompany him to minimart... so he met his beloved martin... and i was so shocked. when he saw my bro martin chucked his cigarette to the grass and brought my bro to the shop. sweet of him. he says he dint wanna be a bad influence... hmm...
we went to n2 to buy the stupid crickets.. ew.. then walked to tm... on the way some minahs from 32 ask martin for 90 cents. he say dont have then they ask abt me and all. so disgusting. i dont know why its not my ego or pride but its just the way they talked and carried themselves was so damn low and ew. i was wearing my tpjc pe shirt and suddenly i actually felt high and gd about myself. haha.
at tm, we went to eat long johns then walked walked... and went to miz29 to buy new kingpin for martin's deck. and down there we were talking to the malay ppl... and the shop owner... this young malay dude. then me and martin were still going narr narr... so many times that after dat the guy was like "narr narr my ass" . damn funny.
took 81 home... then reached home at 1015. martin called and asked me if i would like to go doggy walk. i was thinking, my day had been super short, considering that i woke up damn late. so i was still pretty energised. so we went to walk the dog! walked to the playground at loyang rise. (our new spot) the whole time we were devising a plan to start calling joy(the dog) narr narr. then when martin's parents came home from malacca she wouldnt respond to them anymore. damn funny. the whole time narr narr!! before going back we dropped by at kartik's gate. the narr narr started barking at him. i talked awhile, then we walked home. and at home, i was pretty busy, clinton also called me so i dint have time to finish this post. so ya i'm doing it now 24 hours later. up for the next one! narr narr!


practically the whole day i've been sleeping. ytd i think i slept at almost 3am. vivian woke me up at 1pm. she was feeling pretty shitty. so i talked to her and it started to turn out very fun. we started talking about all the weird animals we wanted to keep as pets. she wants an owl and i want a wolf. yup wolf. so when go out got protection. and it'll be so fun to have a wolf. its like a superior dog. yup. talked to her like until 2.30 then went to eat lunch. and after lunch, I FELL ASLEEP AGAIN!! i was like just so damn lazy to do anything. i wanted to finally fold my clothes but like the bed just forced me to lie down. and i fell asleep... supposed to meet clinton but slept through also... then at 715 got woken up by martin. supposed to go for mass at 8. so i faster got ready, and rushed down to church... met shane russelle valerie at church and after mass walked to some coffeeshop for dinner. lol. tt was stupid. i took damn long to eat and shane and russelle were like so complaining that i took forever. but its not my fault! the stupid man made the rice so damn peppery. i asked for extra sambal not extra pepper. so damn hard to swallow. and i wanna go vivocity. its like shopping paradise i heard.
after dinner, me and martin decided to walk home cos it was still so damn early. so we walked... and made a pitstop at 711 n2 to get a drink... then outside the shop martin put stupid money down the back of my top and i screamed. and this group of matrips there started looking at me wondering why the hell i was screaming. then i waved at them and laughed and they started smiling and laughing. haha, me and martin are so full of shit. slacked at loyang for awhile... before walking home again... i dont feel sleepy.


yea today was halloween. took nearly 1.5 hours i think to get my look done. haha. the theme me and martin decided on was all black, funeral goers. cool man. actually i think that we dint look dat much different than our normal selfs. but it was cool. the blackness was elaborated this time. he looked like the perfect escort, and at 3 plus we started our day.
first stop was his workplace to collect his salary. yea.. after that we took the train to orchard. the whole time, we were getting stares. but i think it was in a gd way. haha. hopefully. i mean we were not really damn weird. bought tickets to the prestige... then we walked around orchard... window shopping at the malls, met a lot of weird ppl in stupid costumes. but respect they actually not shy to look stupid. had macs for dinner then rushed to cinea for our movie. it was fucking awesome sia! the plot was so damn fucking unpredictable and mind-teasing. even i dint get it. martin had to explain to me almost everythg after the movie. yea sometimes i feel that he's one of the very few ppl who actually noe more than me. actually quite smart. hehex... then after movie we walked to far east... saw more retarded ppl. esp the cosplayers! wtf. they look so damn gross. far east was like closing so we took train to peninsular... where it was closed so then we took 12 back to pasir ris. went to get a drink at central... he went to deposit his money... then we walked home.
you totally changed since last time. sometimes i wonder what made u change, maybe u're right u became more mature. i love it dat u really let me do anythg today. i noe it might suck that i like to be spoilt. but i'm sure u noticed that i get happy over the smallest things. its so fucking fun going out with u. u've been my best friend for ages and now that you actually want to take a step further, u're really doing a lot. u've really changed. you even took down the stuff i get happy about. like the guy must stand on the step below me on the escalator so i dont hv to look up at the guy. however i'm sorry that i cant fulfill what u want. right now i totally want to stay away from guys cos my past experience has been so fucked up. it taught me to be wad i am now. but really u've made me really happy. and thanks for listening to me. as best friends i never ever asked u to do anythg. i always let u make the choices in ur life, without commenting. but now, u listen to what i want u to do, even if i dont pressure u. u listen. its so fucking surprising. cos i never tot u were someone who would bother to listen to anyone except urself. so yea. just wanna say thx for being with me all this time esp during this period when so much is making me sad in life. as a best fren, u totally got my back all the time.