jellybeanies
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i decided to dedicate this post to the boy who has always been there for me, my one and only martin.

what can i say? he's one sweet guy. today i was in an oh-so-lethargic mood. spent most of the afternoon snoozing in bed, recuperating energy that i lost during the past few days when i was busy with the celebrations. guess what he did? at like 7 plus he gave me an awfully sweet surprise. i was still sleeping but he came over with bubble tea and my favourite chocolate. unfortunately he had to go early and i was so blurred by the sudden events when i just woke up. but after he left, things began to sink in and like wow.. he actually came and surprised me... its the sweetest thing a guy can ever do... so damn unexpected. in fact, i think its the most sweetest surprise i ever got from any guy.

so lets talk about him.

he's caring, sweet and damn loving. he makes me breakfast everytime i meet him in the mornings cos he knows i dont bother to eat and he doesnt want me to get gastric. he gives me random surprises and keeps drawing for me. and he makes me feel so damn loved whenever we just snuggle up to each other and sleep. he knows i love hugs so he always makes sure i'm close to him.

not only is he nice to me, he is also great at all the small things. he knows they matter to me. he makes it a point to stand one step below me on escalators. he even remembers that i like to put my leg on his thigh whenever i sit down so it has become automatic that he lifts my leg up. these things are so fucking small but it means so much to me that he even bothers to remember these little things.

he pampers me like crazy, making sure my frowns turn to shy grins. when i give that so-called "puppy dog look", he always gives in to make me smile. when i feel lonely, he gives me the tightest hugs in the world, and doesnt let go till i'm happy once again.

about being spoilt? well i dont ask for much stuff from him. but if i did, he'll give up everything in the world to get it.

i love him. he reads my mind, just like how i can read his. being with him is like being with a nicer version of myself. yes, i see him as someone better than me. if there was anyone i would like to be, it would be someone who could love like him.

fun. thats what our relationship is built on. even the most boring shit like going to school can be fun with him around. like council meetings. i'm never embarrassed babes... even if u wear ite uniform. i feel proud that i have such a darling in my life. yes fun, how many couples can say they have fun? yes things go well and smoothly. like going movies and shopping. but which couple fight with one another? chase each other round the house and use sprays and umbrellas to attack each other (but i'll always win cos then i'll give a pathetic pitiful look or run to him when i feel too attacked for a hug cos i feel lonely.) read each other's mind and automatically do what we both thought of straightaway? tickle each other on the bed till we're both drained of breathe? go round screaming rock songs? scaring people at parks by standing really still as they walk by? skipping?
yes, even kissing him is fun. so fun that i never want to stop. so fun that i'm contented with just kissing and nothing else.

babes i love u an awful lot. please dont ever disappoint me again... i lost you once, i dont want to lose u again...


its 1pm, 27 nov. didnt blog last night cos my day ended terribly late and i was too exhausted to do anything else but sleep. last night, my house held a christmas dinner party. went really well, had more than a full house. lets recount my day...

i woke up at like 11am, everyone was already awake. mom and dad were already cooking, doing last minute decorations and cleaning up the house. gosh the decorations were wicked. for weeks both of them have been fussing over the decorations in the house. moving here... to there... lights here and there. seriously there have been so many instances througout the past few days when i had the intuition that they were trying to compete with orchard road.

left my house at 12. made my way to tm. was sent to get more decorations and chocolate. and besides, i needed to get some stuff of my own too. for my monthyversary. it was an awfully rainy day. felt quite lonely and vulnerable to the rain only because martin wasnt there with me. but thats cos i didnt let him follow me.

at century square, sent my lens for cleaning, then went to run my errands and parents' errands. they wanted to buy the ceiling decorations at metro. so can u imagine? i had to talk to countless of people. from station masters to supervisors to household staff. but at least they were nice enough. had to dismantle the ceiling to get all the stuff down.

after doing everything i needed to do, i took a cab home. ludging all the decorations and food around was so tiring and stressful. MARTIN!!! but oh wells, in the cab i felt independent and proud of myself for the successful survival.

ate lunch when i reached home, it was still raining like shit. lunch was good, after that i walked in the rain once again to baby's house... reached there at like 4.15.

he was surprised at the stuff i gave him. yay~! made me really happy to see the smiles on his face. we decided to cuddle and snuggle for awhile in bed. it was soo nice. oh but then after that suddenly he became so hyperactive and kept doing RVD's five star frog splash on me. for those of you who have no idea what that is, its a wrestling move. it consists of him standing up on a corner of a bed and jumping flat onto me. so you all get the idea of the pain. in the end, we started fighting. fun fun again.

he got dressed and we left his house at like 6 to my house. i went to take a bath while he played with my brother. at 7 plus people started to stream in. LOTS OF PEOPLE. like thousands! haha ok maybe not that much, but it was so much that even the tables we set outside my house couldnt hold them all. and my house isnt that small. when martin and i wanted to eat dinner, there wasnt any space for us at all we had to go down to the void deck to eat.

martin had to leave early, so i walked him out. sad to see him go.

back at the party, i hung out with aaron and joana in my room. and we were just surfing the net, and laughing at vicente and his friend. well you see thats cos, coincidently both of them look so damn alike! they both wore the same kind of clothes in the same colour too! it was so cute! and what was more funny was that they were hanging out in vicente's room which he kept shut all the time. everytime he walked out, he would shut the door quickly behind him. like as though he was keeping some dinosaur inside. aaron and joana dint even know how his friend looked like until i showed them the pictures i took. then when his friend finally came out, aaron was like "HOLY SHIT!!" lol... yup they really looked damn alike.

party was a crowded and noisy one... snapped photos, talked to people, ate. etc. but surprisingly it ended quite early, 11 plus.

house was in a total mess. but it was satisfying that it went well. there were lots of leftover food, so i suggested we had a family aftermath dinner and thats what we did. food was heated, and we all sat down to dinner. a LATE dinner. so nice and cozy.

after dinner the great cleanup started. then i went to bathe, then opened presents, slacked around awhile, then i was just too tired. i fell asleep before i could blog.

and now waking up, the house is still in a mess. but not as bad as last night though. the air is cool and chilly from the night rain.

what a great chrismukkah.


my first shot of the twins when i sneaked in my bro's room...

my only shot of him last night...

chrismassy shot of the twins... mark shot of the twins...

more twins... yellowfied...

reunited for a late dinner...

*363 more days to christmas~


now's like 3am and i'm officially with martin for one month, since 26 nov. (aka my bday, so sweet right).

yesterday (3 hours ago) was christmas! and it was fuckin awesome. all because i had martin with me.

met martin at like 10.30am to go for christmas mass. i gave him a framed drawing i did last night. stayed up till like 7am and that made me sleepy throughout the day. the drawing was some old school designs... i dint take a snapshot of it cos i totally think that its so retarded. martin can draw so much better. like i compared his works with mine, i just feel like burning mine. i guess old school's just not my thing. martin kept teasing me about the cherries i drew cos it looked rather kiddy. but in the end he liked it, and kept showing off to the public, and pointing to me. so embarrassing!!! the drawing looked like as though some small kid drew it.

OH AND ONE VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL!! on christmas eve we got blink182 shirts and we decided to wear matching today! it was so cutee and fun! we both wore blink182 band shirt with same design, jeans, studded belt, black skate shoes and pink socks. and the best part is, throughout the day people actually noticed! (= martin was so nice to agree on blink182. he's more of a hardcore person.

BEN JOINED US FOR MASS!!! i think in a funny way him being there was a nice thing. it was damn funny to see him there. ben's like this catholic who's heavily influenced by the malays downstairs. i even thought he was a mat the first time i met him. so he havent been to church for ages and it was so cute and hilarious! he talked like a typical mat and was like swearing in malay and talking to martin in malay. it was damn havoc. but so funny!! he even insisted on receiving communion from the priest and not the wardens cos they were all just "workers". then martin had to argue with him on the right way to do the sign of the cross. so funny!!!

after that, 3 of us made our way back to pasir ris. martin and i were headed to his house and ben was going to 32. in the bus, those two people were like listening to some hardcore crap and totally going nuts, it was so funny i cldnt stop laughing. martin was playing imaginary drums and ben was playing lead guitar. SO DUMBBBBB!!!!! yet funny!

went to martin's house, he was having open house for christmas. met his relatives, slacked around, played piano and guitar.... nice now he can play yellow for me to sing. after awhile, i had to go to uncle raj's house which was like 2 bus stops away for visiting cos the rest of my family was already there.

went there, and i was bored. really. i think its cos my twin wasnt with me. with him, everything is exciting. stayed there for a very loong time! and i was just suffering. dint eat. dont ask why. i was so bored... all i did to entertain myself was like play psp and take more pictures....

finally, we went to godma's house. went there by dad's friend's car. i fell asleep in the car. it was so uncomfortable cos i didnt lean back, cos i didnt want to destroy my hair. didnt want to flatten it. so instead i just leaned on vicente's back.

at godma's house i straightaway dug into the food. ate like a lot! stayed there awhile... then we left. my family took a cab to aunty evie's house but i didnt go because i had to go to martin's house for christmas as well.

before making my way to martin's, i met clinton. he was in bedok as well doing family visiting. since he lived in the west it was very rare that he came down to the east so met him for awhile. just awhile cos then i had to go to martin's.

upon reaching baby's house, i was just in time for carolling. so funny. babes was singing so damn hilariously. after singing, everyone went home, so martin and i ate dinner while watching tv.

after that, everyone went to sleep. martin and i hung out at the living room. both of us fell asleep. it was so nice falling asleep in his arms.

we woke up like after more than an hour later, snuggled together awhile (clocked striked 12 and it was one month), then watched that's so raven on disney channel... then i went home.

reached home at 1.30am.

christmas was so lovely....










































first, i LOVE martin!!!!! k now that that's settled, lets talk about today. yes it was the last day of camp. for the first time i went to school on time. only reason being because martin called to wake me up. plus its impossible to not wake up to From Autumn to Ashes.

met martin like 25 mins late. he was outside my door. totally shocked me. i was so guilty for making him wait. but guess what he gave me a picture and breakfast.(as usual) so sweet man. suddenly its like martin decided to really draw for me. previously it was the swallow, now its my name. i so want to go to ikea to buy more frames so i can hang my baby's drawings in my room. i plan to cover my walls with them. his swallow is already on my wall... here take a look at the picture he drew today.

went to school, and sort of regretted going so early because like for the next one hour i dint do a shit. all i did was sit around with some friends and eat the sandwich martin made me.

finally dance started. danced on stage with jean. i think we really looked dumb, spinning like lunatics. after a few more activities in the hall, it was time for break.

went to the canteen for a drink, then went to play the piano in the hall with alvin. jean and i then realised that we were free till like 2. so we decided to go to the library to play internet. but the freaking coms there were down. so in the end we went to read some philosophy books. yup i thought it would be a good idea to do so since like i am never bothered to really widen my philosophical knowledge. so i read this interesting book called The Philosophy Gym. its really nice to read, information is really interesting and yet at the same time easy to read. i might even get martin to read it. yup i think he'll find it easier to read than the decartes book i asked him to read a few weeks back. decartes is like this reknown philosopher and its pretty hard to understand his theories. but still martin read it cos i told him to. such a good boy. oh but i fell asleep while reading about whether God exists. it wasnt the book, it was me. i was just fucking sleepy. and i drooled!! eww....

had lunch, which had like so much vegetables! so unfair! i mean they have vegetarian meals... wad about meatytarians?! why so unfair! i never ate a green thing in my life. so they should have meat meals. yup.

after lunch, realised my duty was only at like 2.3o. so more free time... went back to the library... this time vanessa came along with us. then after that got called down... my duty was a water bag throwing game with jonathan.

yess jonathan!!! which meant soccer! so whenever we were free while mending the station, he'll teach me stuff... taught me side step.... some flippy thing... some trick thing... hais... but now that camp is over... i dont think i'll ever get to play with him. he was like teaching me and everytime i manage to do, he'll call alvin over and show him. and say that i'm better. hahah! and he made sure i dint get wet at the station. but that dint last forever because some idiots from the last group saboed me.

yes those stupid guys, at the last minute all charged towards me and threw thousands of water at me. )= then jean and i ran into the guys toilet to take revenge but of course running to their base only meant defeat for us. stupid louiza again. picking on ppl bigger than her.

then baby came to my school to fetch me after the games. he came to my council room and carried my bag. then jean and us walked out of school, and martin and i went to the petrol kiosk to buy chocolate for me! then we walked home, cos i was too cold to take the bus, being all drenched and stuff.

and that was like the start of a damn nice day. we walked to my house... and on the way martin walked me through another route. it was like nearly foresty. then we saw some parrots.... and birds... and geckos.... and even a cat nursing her kittens... yup martin taught me a lot again.

then some stupid bird had to shit on me. today was like the first time in my life that a bird actually shitted on me. i felt so gross man. i wanted to like throw my body away. araghx. martin had to literally drag me home.

i bathed like 2 freakin times

then we went to central to eat dinner. during dinner i took damn long to eat mostly cos i kept talking to martin. and he's such a good listener. didnt rush me to eat. after that, we bought bubble tea then went to take bus to changi beach.

while waiting for the bus, met rajminder. and finally!! evidence for martin!!! raj was like "louiza can spar very well". YESS!!!! but i rather be protected by martin. then martin and him talked. so nice to see my friends and him get along.

in the bus i was making fun of DX and martin banned me from doing the suck it gesture. -_-

then we walked in the drizzle to the beach. so sweet... sat down for awhile.... relaxed....

and that was my day.

today was like the 2nd day of camp. and for both days straight i couldnt wake up in time. which means i was late for both days. lucky my duties were late in the day. tmr, i'll try to go earlier.... check the schedule later.
oh but hey, camp wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. a main reason for that would be because we councillors are the ones in charge so basically if there was anyone suffering it would be the ppl who attended our camp. but from what i see, they're having fun. so thats a gd thing.
in fact, camp was quite fun. because i had fun playing with my friends. ok that sounds so small girl. hahazx. but its true. people like jean was always there for me. but cos we hardly had similar duties, so when that happened i always had the guys.
ok not in that way, but we really did have a lot of fun. especially the first day. qashrul, jonathan, king loong, alvin were my street soccer buds for the day. damn fun! seriously and it was so sweet of them to teach me stuff. jonathan was like teaching me new stuff and qashrul would always let me shoot. and he trained me on my penalty shots until i could really score. hah! and hakim was laughing at my penalty! (= alvin ah, well he just bullied me and threatened to kill me cos i kept whacking the ball at his balls (yeah his real physical ones) actually i nearly did to all the guys but they were nice enough to not mind. =D yup so like we mostly played soccer while at our game stations which were at the basketball courts.
and then there was nicholas and yong zhi who were my martial arts buddies. yong zhi is like the vice president of the wushu club. and nicholas is like some taichi and karate person. so they kept sparring. and i like one small person, kept asking to spar. yesterday i kicked nicholas =) well they dint let me fight them but today i got my fight with nicholas, using weapons. but i screamed when he tried to attack with the pole. not my fault! im a taekwondo blackbelt but we dont use weapons!! well i felt so embarrassed. but still they gave me chance. and besides i got martin. hahaha to protect me. oh then today! yong zhi tried to teach me how to handle a pole, like how to spin it. damn hard kay, in the end i couldnt. arm pain!
taking about spinning, jonathan showed me some fancy training thingy that they do in the military with their rifles. damn cool.
of course there's the girls too. yesterday a bunch of us just hung out on the stage while debrief playing with the stereo. and then jonathan came and told jean how i learnt soccer. so its fun. yayyay!
but of course martin's still the best, today he came down to my sch to bring me go eat lunch. then he taught me stuff about rockclimbing and after school he brought me to the beach and taught me about birds. i never knew swallows were so small and even existed in singapore. its like every day i learn something new from him. i love him so fucking much.
according to martin today was "punkrock day". cos the two of us went mad today. not like we are not mad everyday but just that today was even more. from acting gay in front of mats... to running around at the beach, to martin acting like ozzy osbourne yelling "SHARRONN!!!!" ... to me jumping on his back, to me yelling and screaming.... to us cursing in malay... to us screaming out sum41's in to deep. it was really one havoc day.
BABES I LOVE YOU!!~!!!!
DONT BE MEAN TO ME!!!!!






i so dont have time to post. got camp in like 4 hours. ewww. but here are some pictures.
this is martin acting like a jap. we're just so grossed out by stupid ah lians who dont want to grow up. especially those who think they're damn cute.
this is joy in negative effect. so cute right.
martin = mark hoppus??! but seriously i love this one more....
thanks for paying attention to me. hmph!


i am so appalled at the behaviour of our men in society. for the longest time ever, weird people have been adding me on friendster and msn. i usually get the idea on how low and perverted they are especially if the conversation starts off with "hi i saw you on friendster and you look so hot" -_-'' the lamest i've heard was like "girls on friendster dont usually catch my attention but your cute smile totally brightened my day.... care to give me your number?" like thats gonna brighten up my day. like seriously eww. and the sad thing is that there has been extremes when the guy looks so ew and he starts to dirty talk with me. that totally makes my hair stand.

i usually respond to these hair-raising encounters by :

1. ignoring. this is usually done if he so fortunately msgs me when i'm on the phone, esp with my darling martin. like im gonna give up my attention on my boy to entertain some dickhead.
2. if the guy seems decent enough, i politely tell him i have a bf. then we'll see his reactions. if he goes all psycho, then i'll go to step one most probably. if he becomes anti-social, i'll get the idea that he just wants a freakin gf and i'll be anti-social too. if he seems cool with it and wants to be friends, then cool. but if all else fails and he wants to kill me, i have martin for a reason. ;)
3. my personal favourite which i've been doing A HELL LOT recently due to mere boredom. switch my display picture on msn to a hot photo of vivian and scare the shit out of him by saying i'm lesbian and thats my gf. i did this to a horny 15yr old once. the idiot didnt even know what lesbians were. i guess i polluted his mind. hahahX!

so why am i like bloggin about this shit now? well i'm up really early today, 9 plus am, and after bathing i decided to come online. so here's the story so far, there's this guy called jeevan. he added me on friendster 2 days back. go check out his lamo profile. http://www.friendster.com/26026802

in a nutshell he thinks he's damn hot and he has girls supporting him, (sounds like someone i know but thats not the point) well he's from penang blahblahblah.... i dont really know much about him cos i've been adapting step one towards him all this time. and he's really quite annoying. everytime i dont reply for a long time, he says hi. like err?? we already said hi at the beginning of the conversation. wads up with you? so basically he says he graduated from some university but we have no idea how true dat is...

this is our first conversation... step one was mostly used.

thats our first ever conversation. notice how many times he says hi?! moving on... 2nd conversation. again step 1. love u martin. talking on the phone with you rocks.

well you know, like most normal guys, maybe they just want to see who they're talking to. decent talking. then it carries on.

this was last night when i was talking to baby....

k back to the story, i came online and he msgs! so i be polite... then he calls me dear. for like the freakin millionth time. like wad the hell. get a life. I AM SO NOT YOUR DEAR. and its so gross to be called that by you, some girl leecher. so i get to the point and say, stop calling me dear. well here this is the conversation i just had. ewwwwww....

hmph~! make up ur mind! do i look like a bitch or am i hot? so contradictory! i have evidence. see the previous conversation! i was hot ohkayyyy.... oh mann!!! now i feeel so hurtt.... he call me bitch.... how!??? =(

oh gawsh here comes a small one. i was insulting his dick. u might want to click on the picture to view it bigger.

and he was gone! poof!

so please guys out there. if u're going to add me cos i "make you hard", go ahead really. just dont contradict yourself and make yourself look like a total fool. especially if you got a huge ego. (advised!!) but if you do add, please be nice or else the only one replying you would be silence.

and please tell me something new. i bet girls are bored of hearing, "i think you're cute"

can i say you're not?