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Louiza Starr
The year is 2010. Apart from the traditional resolutions of not being lazy, having more patience et cetera, I also declared this year "The Adventure". Primarily, this is because I have no idea where I'd be at the end of the year. For the first time in my life, there is no "exam that I know I would have completed" or "school that I would be admitted into". I can be anywhere on earth by the last day of 2010. And that is what excites me, cos I can't wait to live it through and discover where I will be, who i will meet - new friends, new lovers. The possibilities are endless. And as I put my capabilities and personality to the test, I invite you to travel with me through this adventure and observe, as I live out the new decade.
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Shoo
title: checkpoint
date: Wednesday, June 30, 2010
This adventure has been fun, but it's turning out to be hard. I guess every journey has its obstacles. I will make it through.
title: Trapped
date:
I feel so pressured.
Trapped by the inescapable pressure that surrounds me.
It stresses me out, but all I keep within - putting up a normal front.
I doubt anyone can fully understand me and what I'm going through. At least, not the people whom I need to understand.
Not like I want them to understand anyway. I would rather just be "okay" to them. Cos there's a very thin line between blame and what I'm supposed to do. I don't even understand that sentence.
Yes, it's my sentence and I do know what it means. But to lay it out clearly would just take so much effort and right now, I'm exhausted. In so much pain. Mentally, physically and emotionally. Frankly things will be a lot less worse if this headache seized. I guess medication takes time to work. Hopefully this shower also helps in some way.
But inside, I know it'll only go away if I feel better about the problems.
Pressure's coming from all directions, whether intentionally or not. I do not know. I like to believe that no one would want to pressure someone so much and make her/him feel so stressed.
But I am stressed. And I'm waiting for all this to pass. Cos no one understands. At least not now. And even if they did, no one's doing a good job helping me not be stress.
I feel like a bad person. I know I am. I have my faults. I will never deny them. But is that all that I am to you? Bad? I personally think it takes a lot of good to go through what I'm going through without breaking down.
So help me God.
title: your preference
date: Sunday, June 27, 2010
You're teaching me that it's better to be totally gone than to stay and let me live.
title: slow death
date:
Feed one, bleed the other.
Can time just fast-forward. For my sake.
title: Things in my head
date:
I
I need to stop asking, testing. I need to be more selfless, and know that I'll always get whatever I want. So there's no need to be demanding just to "see" if it will really happen.
II
In general, people need to know that here's a girl that gets treated overtly nicely, spoiled rotten by her boyfriend. Sou I hopes nothing's ever held against me if I everr pout too much for no reasonable reason.
Labels: alexandra, Charles, self-improvement
title: Babyfase Delivery
date: Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Sou, today I felt like craps. Weather's all wet, and had a lot on my mind. I think PMS is coming. Anyways, Charles is the sweetest everr. I felts like eating chocolate (Top Deck) to be exact, and so he decided to deliverr chocolate to mee. :)
That's not the point, my order got longer as I suddenly felt more cravings for other stuffs. Didn't want to trouble him, but he insisteds. Sou then, I suddenly received this.
Okays! Let me repeat your order, one tom yum noodles, one small lime juice, one small lays, one Top Deck. Is that correct princess? :) Please take down your order number, l-o-v-e-123. <3<3 Expected delivery time is 30mins. xoxo
Heheeee he's souuu swweeet and funnys.
Then I received things likee
Babyfase Delivery
: Babyfase Delivery now allows to track the location of your delivery boy. Just text 'kiss' to 96651542, to activate this service. The delivery boy will update you on his current location every 5mins after activation untill delivery has been made.
Awwww sou sweeettt!!! Heheheeee.
Then there were other really sweet updates too. Too many to put here but here was the first one:
Babyfase Delivery Update: Thank you for subscribing to the Babyfase Delivery Update service. Your boy is now at tpjc. P.S. He loves you lots lots!
He is sou sweet. Okayy I am waiting for my Delivery Boy to come.
title: Here It Comes
date: Friday, June 18, 2010
The test of who we really are.
title: How cute is this.
date: Thursday, June 17, 2010
title: together
date: Sunday, June 06, 2010
Are you really with me?
title: sleep
date: Saturday, June 05, 2010
Dear Charles,
It's been seven hours since I've heard from you. Seven hours seems like a short time, but I'm already feeling so lovesick. I miss you, and life with you by my side is magical. I don't want it to ever end. So for now, I'm just going to lie here and wait for you to wake. I love you so much baby.
The temptation to call you just to hear your voice is crazy. :(
Love,
Louiza
title: trivia
date: Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Sometimes I gotta breathe easy and remember that boys don't take some things too seriously.
