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Louiza Starr
The year is 2010. Apart from the traditional resolutions of not being lazy, having more patience et cetera, I also declared this year "The Adventure". Primarily, this is because I have no idea where I'd be at the end of the year. For the first time in my life, there is no "exam that I know I would have completed" or "school that I would be admitted into". I can be anywhere on earth by the last day of 2010. And that is what excites me, cos I can't wait to live it through and discover where I will be, who i will meet - new friends, new lovers. The possibilities are endless. And as I put my capabilities and personality to the test, I invite you to travel with me through this adventure and observe, as I live out the new decade.
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Shoo
title: hello old friend,
date: Friday, October 16, 2009
hello sadness.
remember me?
it’s been so long since we last met like this.
and i cherish the times you were not around.
i have to admit, i forgot the immensity of your power.
i forgot how you could just overwhelm my being, no matter how hard i try to ignore and push you away.
your cold heavy iron fingers have the ability to creep into my chest and pull every part of my body towards it, weighing me down, stopping me from doing anything else, and forcing me to just curl up in defeat shivering from your cold.
and the more i tried to pull away, the stronger your grip got on me. till it becomes hard to breathe. till all i can manage are short painful breathes.
i forgot it all. for 24 turns of the calendar, you have spared me.
but no worries, you have given me a strong reminder.
your presence so firm, that now i forget the happiness i felt after you left, the strength i had.
now i’m weak in your mercy, and yes i’m fighting.
but of course, you’re unforgiving. the more i fight the more you tug.
so lets make a deal, for old times’ sake.
i’m not gonna fight you, i’m not gonna resist. i’m not gonna avoid, or pretend you don’t exist.
no, you’re too smart for that.
i’m just going to accept you, like a long lost friend.
and i am going to live with you as i go about my life.
i have no energy to force you away, or sustain the increase of pain that you respond with.
so lets leave it on this level, let’s be companions in silence.
i’ll be patient, i’ll breathe easy.
i’ll wait till you get bored of me and till you go away.
sadness, oh sadness. welcome to my life.
i hope you enjoy your stay.
Labels: 80%, JKR, wordsmagicallyspun
title: PILE OF PI
date: Friday, June 27, 2008
she fucking makes math not fun.
but thats not gna make me fall out of love with it.
Labels: 80%, sick
title: mental exhaustion
date: Tuesday, May 20, 2008
louiza is 80% near breakdown
5 hours of writing.
i'm panting.
but at least a great deal of the agenda for the day is completed.
i doubt i've ever felt this way before.
i feel like i just ran several kilometres.
u know when u're feeling like u cant take it anymore, and u wanna stop.
that shaky about-to-die feeling.
yeah i had that as i was ending my mental marathon.
omg i feel so mentally tired. i just forced a whole load of shit into my brain.
my brain really feels tired.
now i know the meaning of that.
i'm going to bathe. i need to cool off.
i dont think i've ever worked this hard before.
its like mental exhaustion actually transferred to physical.
omgg my hands are shaking.
shit.
Labels: 80%
