jellybeanies
icon, resources, host, host.

omg! its 4.15am. i am still working on my paper. and guess what!!!

IT HAS STARTED RAINING!!!!

OMG YAY YAY YAY!!!

GOD LOVES ME!!!

such nice weather to study.

Labels: 13 o'clock, God

I remember very clearly the first time I ever experienced great satisfaction. Chills of awe spread through my body as I glided my fingers from the top of the cover to its bottom, soaking in the image I saw before me. My left hand fiddled with the spine as my mind acknowledged reality. It had to be real. After all, it was my name imprinted in bold on the cover along with the title that I picked, which I made sure sounded official enough. I turned the page over, and read the items on the content page; each word was carefully chosen from the average amount of vocabulary I possessed. After all, these subtitles apparently had to “attract the reader”. As a thin smile of pride appeared on my face, I slowly flipped the pages, dazzled by how filled each of them was. Again, I felt amateurishly satisfied by how “official” my pages looked. They had footnotes, citations, and everything I thought professional authors employed in their writing. Finally, I got to the conclusion. With nostalgia overwhelming my senses, I slowly read the last sentence. I could not help but feel delighted in the witty way that I ended my work with. Then I was brought to the bibliography which of course, was what professional authors also had. It took nine months. Nine months of research, of drafting, of more research. These nine months was also filled with much frustration, laughs and enlightenment. But it was worth it. I now held in my hands a copy of my very first thesis, ready to be submitted to Cambridge for my A levels. That, is the first time I ever experienced great satisfaction.

Labels: JKR, WestBev

maybe it was the bad combination of pms and stress. whatever the case was, the past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me - with more dips than highs.

i think i've just been so stress with the sudden academic load, my period went all screwed. and, the Pms came in an extreme form. one week. even when my period was already ongoing. really screwed.

i've been feeling so irritable, so depressed, and damn sad. i've been picking on every single thing, and i must admit that the person who got hit most was kuga. i don't think there wasn't a day this week that i did not give him trouble.

yes. i gave him trouble. not "we fought". cos seriously i still think he's superhuman. i cant recall ever fighting or arguing with him once in the past 4 months we've been together. and throughout the week, he's been relentlessly trying to make me feel better whenever i seriously felt like crap. which i must say, was 80% of the time. and 100% of those times, i had unreasonable reasons.

i was whining so much, starting up issues which, when i think only rationally and when i push PMS aside with great effort, were actually not issues at all. like, "i hate how you hung up". "why'd you take so long to pick up". nonsense like that.

he never got pissed with me, lost his patience, or argued back. for some irrational reason, i was always right. he only tried to make me happy, very often putting me above his own welfare, and yes i must say he did succeed each time. but oh-retarded-me will very soon after, start up another issue again.

pms for a week. i think i'm crazy.

well, yesterday was no different. and though he was damn tired after work, he came over and took me out just cos "i think you dont love me". seriously i'm retarded.

and yeah, needless to say whilst we were out, i had to ruin the peace with my "i think you're bored with me". which led to me really really getting depressed.

but he never left my side.

it took the whole night to get me happy again. he didnt leave until i was okay. he didnt leave till 9am. he started work at 10am.

baby just called. i'm gonna end things here. not only this post, but my pms. i'm going to force myself to get out of this spiral for him. cos he's amazing and his attributes are stuff money can't buy.

Labels: Dirty $exy Money, eyecandy, jammers, JKR, kuga starr

at the com lab now, but i just gotta post about how "hello-ish" my day has been so far.

hi hi hi hi!

Labels: eyecandy, WestBev

really really busy, but because kuga asked me to, i’ll blog about our day (or rather, evening) out together. yeah cos i’ve been so busy since the semester started, i haven’t blogged about any of our outings together. so i think i’ll spend some time on this one.

yesterday, we met around 5.30 in the evening. i was armed with all my study material. we were going to have a quiet constructive study session at a nice little cafe at the airport.

reached there, we had late lunch/dinner first. at our usual chinese restaurant where our dear friend is “a member”. but yeah, we had to agree that our usual outlet was much nicer. our snow mountain was “tall and thin”. snigger..

kuga was so cute. i was busy reading logic while he ordered. i wasnt really paying attention to his ordering. all i remembered was “baby can i order a lot?” i just nodded half-attentively. then, food came.

and kept on coming. and coming and coming and coming.

it was so cute.

haha.

after a really long meal, (i also managed to get a significant amount of logic done) we decided to move to our cafe. besides, kuga was shivering. did i ever tell you that he cant stand cold? like even a little. it was so funny.

so first, we walked to the skytrain station, to go to terminal 1. i was intending to go to the pacific coffee there.

after finally reaching there, we found construction barricades set up.

they were doing renovations, and my cafe was gone.

we walked to the other side of T1. other cafe also GONE.

walked to the skytrain station. took train to T2.

coffee bean. CROWDED LIKE HELL

starbucks CROWDED LIKE HELL

gloria jeans, only one plug. which was being used.

pacific coffee, – come on say it with me – GONE.

it was all good fortune that kuga was there to calm my nerves down. cos at this point i was getting impatient and frustrated. while he was shivering, i could feel tense heat building in me.



calmly, kuga encouraged me to go try terminal 3. so okay we went there.

and guess what.

CROWD EVERYWHERE.

it was so gross.

then kuga enlightened me about the stupid phenomenon. “it’s saturday evening”

-_-



okay now i know never to study out on saturday.

we walked on, searching desperately. me getting more pissed. but it’s a true miracle how calm he was able to remain despite all. like come on, he was carrying ALL my study material. laptop, thick logic book, bag, paper. while i was complaining so loudly. one can only imagine what he must have been going through. but he just kept being happy.

ah, sometimes i think he’s not human.



finally, i was so angry, i decided to sit down on one of the chairs at the departure hall.

i looked at him, and it really occurred to me at that point that he hasn’t complained one bit. this coupled with the fact that i havent spent time with him the whole week due to tests, i really started to feel guilty and appreciate the person sitting next to me.

so i took my laptop, and logged on to the movies showing that evening. and i said, “baby, screw it. come, lets go watch a movie.”

the wide grin i got in reply said it all.

but that wasnt the end of my woes. cos then when i wanted to book tickets online, the stupid page kept lagging.

so then again, the impatient louiza came out.

then, i gave up. took down the phone booking number and decided to give that a shot instead.

like that worked.

the stupid machine was speaking so slowly. i shoved the phone to kuga and ordered him to listen and book while i packed up my stuff.

he made me laugh by looking at me clueless saying “baby, they’re talking so slow!”

i was getting so frustrated about not being able to even book tickets, he then decided to just like go to tampines and buy the tickets from there.

apparently for a 10.30 show at eng wah century square.

okay fine, so we took a bus there.

reached there, and guess what. there was no “10.30” show. it’s like the internet lied to me. there was 11.30. but i really didnt want to wait so long. so from there, we decided to walk to tampines mall GV to see if there were better timings. all the way there, we discovered, NO. no better timings. 11.30 was the next show.

so okay at this point i just gave up. i decided to just buy from tm gv. but then kuga said, “baby dont you like the seats at century more?” i told him if we wanted to go there, we’ll have to walk like all the way there again. and i didnt want to trouble him. really i’ve been dragging him around my crazy moodiness. but then, he insisted we go there. so being the sweet person he is, we walked back to century square and bought the tickets.

but that left us with an hour free. and yes, coffee bean and starbucks were CROWDED. because it’s a saturday evening.

so we went to ocean blue. and got drinks.

which sucked. not unlike the first time i went there.

i got a gin and he got a daquiri.

sucked.

but then! kuga did some magic! he like went to order again, but this time he ordered the ingredients separately. and made the drink in front of me.

i swear he’s the best bartender ever. he makes the best gin. reason why i started drinking gin more often is cos of him. he knows a good gin when he drinks one.

and it was amazing. really. the old drink was like puke. the new drink was wow.

then, with the remaining ingredients, he modified the stupid daquiri we got. and viola! some REALLY nice cocktail.

it was so nice! even he was in love with the new unknown concoction.

okay so, he was really nice to me the whole day. not snapping at my immense impatience at everything.

we watched the ugly truth later on at 11.30 which was really nice, then we went home at a nice 2am.

but that wasnt the end. something really random happened thereafter.

he went down by my window, (i live on the 12th floor) and we started texting each other. i sat by my window while looking down, he sat by the park downstairs my house and we just texted. for like one and a half hours.

cos i didnt want him to go. so he stayed down there and texted me.

then when he left at 3.30, that was the end. (:

p.s. okay i've been trying for hours to upload pictures onto blogger. but freaking blogger sucks. i'm gonna upload an album onto facebook since i'm active there now. check it out okay?? promise??? good. (:

GO TO THE ALBUM

Labels: eyecandy, jammers, kuga starr, Newport, summer, through lens

We tried superdog today. Wasn't so nice though.

Labels: kuga starr, Newport

2 am. i’m still sick.

headaches. ugh. that don’t go away.

but i’m happy, despite having had such a shitty day. (i suffered in school the whole day with headaches that didn’t want to go away)

kuga came down at 11 plus to bring me to the clinic. then we had dinner/supper.

i came back not too long ago.

doctor says i’m overstressed.

i think i’m lucky to have kuga. plus, today, i kept bullying him. and he let me. (:

Labels: kuga starr, sick

it was yet another prenatal appointment. 7 days to due date. i was having real cramps all night before, but i guessed that was normal at the stage i was.

whilst waiting for our turn, we made plans to eat at pasta mania. our favourite pizza, and you promised to get me the italian soda i loved so much. whilst waiting, i leaned on you and scratched you continuously as the pain kept coming. but we took it once again as “normal”. you assured me that we would get some prescription to make it go away.

our turn came, and it turns out that i wasn’t having the normal cramps. they were contractions. i was in labour. half an hour later, we’re in the labour ward. ahead of us, was six hours which eventually changed our lives. or at least, it changed mine.

 

 

occasionally, i think of the day that delilah was born. but on her birthday, that thought is evident. and today, i thought of that lunch. the pasta mania lunch that never was.

Labels: blood ties, fallacy, Happy Birthday, jujubee, louiza speaks, this chapter is called..., wordsmagicallyspun

It's times like these that i feel really stressed and not at peace. But i guess when i look at the bigger picture, it's not so bad after all.

just showered, after like coming home.

lots of work to do.

i’m gonna camp in my room the whole day to finish it.

Labels: eyecandy, grey's anatomy, jammers, kuga starr

i have officially broken up with kuga. and this is my new boyfriend.

Labels: eyecandy, kuga starr