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so, my friday was awesomely ill as well.

awesome.

another blog-worthy day.

and why i'm blogging on saturday, is cos well, my friday kinda just ended. came home at nearly 11am.

rushed to school yesterday after quickly doing my homework. had to rush that cos i didnt want to get out of bed. cos i was having awesome dreams.

class was fun, and i kept coming out of it to go "visit" the dumpling celebration. i think brian was pretty nice to organize that for the ESL kids. of course, they had a very special visitor too. (:

fyi, not me.

after class, hung out with geoffrey and charles. then we made our way to marina square. gosh i never knew that shopping with boys (not one boyfriend) could be awesomely fun.

said bye to geoffrey at like 6, then charles and i went home.

thennnnnn at nightt went supperrrrc with the people at school. geoffrey called it the Genius Party. but i know my reason for going.

saw lots of gals with tattoos. like full sleeves and full backs.

lots of drama.

ended up loofing. till the end.

then, AWESOMENESS HAPPENED.

till morning.

alright, now to rest.

Labels: Angela Ferilli, Dirty $exy Money, eyecandy, i hate every beautiful day, jammers, Newport, WestBev

i was in the shower, and i decided. i'm not gonna drop partying altogether next semester. i'm still gonna be partying. and slacking. and going out.

and the agenda still stands. ain't no fun partying without a cutie. so maybe thats how i'll "cut down". haha.



funny how i waited for you, with anticipation.

Labels: boys, eyecandy, jammers, Newport, silver, this chapter is called..., WestBev

so apparently, semester starts on the 18th of january. that gives me, 11 days left. wow i've started counting.

went to see the dean yesterday since i've decided to stay on for another semester. and she's gotten me taking extra classes, so i can graduate faster. she's really nice. but now i'm scared cos i'm piled! she says i can surely get through, and i'm hoping she's right.

it's gonna be work non-stop if i wanna even try for my straight As. ): sounds rather exciting. somehow, the stressful chaos excites me. though my partner in stress is gonna be gone. dennyboy. ): but now i'll have yizheng who's apparently taking a lot of the classes i'm taking. so that'll be sweet.

which reminds me. i dont know how i'm gonna keep up the lifestyle of partying, now that i got way more work to cope with. and thats gonna be sad cos i love planning the party drama with yi. ugh....

i have a plan though. called the OASAP. stands for, Out As Soon As Possible. means that whenever i get a new piece of assignment, i finish it asap. then maybe i'll have free time to party. but of course, the whole thing will only work if i get over my laziness.

never mind. four months of non-stop action. and i hope i come out alive.

so, since the next four months is gonna be intense, i've decided to not use any brain energy for the next 11 days. i'm gonna conserve every bit of brain energy for that semester of racing through work.

omg.... more classes!! means less going out, less partying, less hanging out.

oh shiat. i just checked. it's not four months. it's like 5. rawrr!

only one thing to do, MAKE USE OF THE NEXT ELEVEN DAYS TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANNA DO.

AND NO BRAIN UTILIZATION! NO READING, THINKING.

i'm gonna be dumb for the next 11 days. so dont ask me anything intellectual. i'm conserving my brain.

yay. somehow, i really can't wait to live everything out. sounds like an awesome plan. haha. the slacking, and the slaving. everything's perfect now. and i can't wait to get busy.

know what will make things more awesome? if i had a boyfriend or girlfriend who is so madly in love with me and who will be effingly supportive when the academic chaotic buzy-ness comes. i think it would be very fun to have someone like that by my side who i can turn to whenever.

yeah. i said girlfriend. and of course, i'm referring to sam ronson. and maybe ellen cos i think she's too damn funny. i love her.

haha alright, i think i'm gonna shower now, and later do whatever the hell i want.

Labels: boys, jammers, LA, Newport, silver, this chapter is called..., WestBev

mark hoppus calls it year spaceship. =/ i'm just gonna call it the adventure.

anywayss, here's to 2010. i've always detested new years. seriously. whats so fun about going to school the next day? of living through the crappy long opening months of jan, feb, march, april, may? of christmas ending? my favourite months were always october, november, december. and they always will be.

plus this year, holidays were pretty short for me. december was too short. after all school ended on the 11th... so thats like half a month gone already. ugh. then christmas came so fast, it was all really a blur.

nevertheless, i have to say that hands down last night was like the BEST new years in my entire life. seriously. and credits would have to go to rudy of course. first thing we did at 0000 was walk off from a bar with our glasses. his from vodka, and mine from wine. and those glasses stayed with us all the way till clarke quay. hahah. from city hall. hilarious.

2009 was party year. had so much fun, especially since after As. lived it. party, drinks, friends, out out out! family, girls, guys, school. it was awesome. i love 2009 really.

i'm gonna call 2010 the adventure. cos who knows where i'll end up and the end of next year? great! (:

2008 was the year of self-discovery. i worked towards the As, and just really spent the year taking care of myself since this was the period i stayed single for longest. i made real friendships, and had many nice people around me, helping me along the way. i learnt a lot about myself.

2009, party year.

and 2010, is gonna be the adventure. i cant wait.

Labels: ALEXANDER VII, Angela Ferilli, blood ties, boys, Dirty $exy Money, eyecandy, jammers, Knights Ridge, Newport, No Reservations, silver, this chapter is called..., WestBev

so, yesterday was graduation. ho hum, it was pretty fun. but what was more fun was the yi-za afterparty.

and thats probably gonna be our last run of c0-hosting parties. cos she flies off on monday for a month to shanghai, and when she's back i may not in broward.

shitzxx.

anyway, thats a picture of me as a guy. not really meant to be that. that was my last day of school outfit. a girl asked for my number. and a cute guy didnt even look at me cos i think he thought i was butch.

):

never act as a guy again.

anyway,, grad was at sentosa, prety fun. sat with the guys.

then went party at o bar with yi and prc people. omg i felt like i was in china. but that one guy was cute... awwzx. and stupid yi had to happily tell him i found him cute.

not that it mattered anyway. the whole time after that i was shouting about how he's "the hot guy".

but those prc people are seriously damn cool. they have that tycoon aura. haha.

i am going to get his number.

anywayyy,, kenneth came to rescue me from china. so that was cool.

then, i dont know why i was like so damn tired. i guess like i've been up since 7am. plus day before accounting finals.

so i was pretty shagged.

couldnt finish the clubbing escapade.

i took a cab back.

but then skater boy intercepted me. and i spent the rest of the night with him.

till morning. came back 9am.

and that was awesome.

Labels: Angela Ferilli, boys, Dirty $exy Money, eyecandy, jammers, Newport, through lens, WestBev

frankly, i’ve been slacking since last thursday, my logic finals.

then i’ve been sleeping like 12 hours everyday, and when the new week started, i was too excited for my birthday to do any real work.

and then thursday was an awfully long day, which ended on friday morning.

and friday was spent bumming.

and sat was spent bumming.

and now today’s sunday.

i have no idea what’s going to happen today, but here’s the thing.

i need to start doing work.

term ends on the 11 of dec.

it’s the race to the finish.

so slacking ends today.

by 0000hours.

then it’s party again.

see you on the 11th.

Labels: Happy Birthday, jammers, this chapter is called...

louiza

• can’t wait to meet her BOY FRIEND on thursday. muahaha.
• can’t wait to dance with BOY FRIEND on thursday.
• can’t wait to get tipsy.
• cant wait to dance with random hot stuffs.
• hasn’t started accounting
• been music-ing all day
• can’t wait to settle with kuga
• can’t wait to finish her work.
• can’t wait to dance
• can’t wait to turn 20

Labels: boys, Dirty $exy Money, eyecandy, Happy Birthday, jammers, kuga starr, LA, teenagers, WestBev

I'm glad you still know i'm smart. Kenneth.

Labels: ALEXANDER VII, Angela Ferilli, boys, eyecandy, jammers, new york, WestBev

In religion now. Sometimes i wonder if i'm actually a boy. Just spent like an hour in conference with 6 guys. Love them all. Everyone's so nice. I sense another party.

i think, ultimately i'm just a punkish emokid. Okay back to religion.

Labels: ALEXANDER VII, Angela Ferilli, boys, Dirty $exy Money, eyecandy, jammers, WestBev

i spent friday the 13th celebrating my conquer of the shitload of work i had to do.

AWESOME.

clubbed supperclub and arena with the group.

really grateful to friends who took care of me when i puked.

lesson learnt: don’t drink on an empty stomach.

i had only so little to drink and yet, i felt so DAMN bloated and crapped.

so all came out.

and the funny part is

all that came out was water.

liquid.

no solids. cos i didnt eat the whole day.

why?

cos i was lazy to find the time.

hehex.

so i dont really want to blog everything that happened last night. cos strangely i want to just be able to replay it in my mind.

and also, i’m lazy to.

oh vivian, i met beatrice at supperclub.

dance.

smoke.

talk.

cubicles.

couples.

drink.

the 5 minute walk.

the trend setter.

the lift.

the partner.

the phone.

my bag.

hands.

hair.

taxi rides.

sticks.

stage.

scotland boy.

four boys to one girl.

mac donalds.

puke.

water.

baby are you down?

advertising.

and there you have it,

yizheng and louiza’s rival party.

Labels: 13 o'clock, boys, Dirty $exy Money, eyecandy, jammers, teenagers, through lens, WestBev

maybe it was the bad combination of pms and stress. whatever the case was, the past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me - with more dips than highs.

i think i've just been so stress with the sudden academic load, my period went all screwed. and, the Pms came in an extreme form. one week. even when my period was already ongoing. really screwed.

i've been feeling so irritable, so depressed, and damn sad. i've been picking on every single thing, and i must admit that the person who got hit most was kuga. i don't think there wasn't a day this week that i did not give him trouble.

yes. i gave him trouble. not "we fought". cos seriously i still think he's superhuman. i cant recall ever fighting or arguing with him once in the past 4 months we've been together. and throughout the week, he's been relentlessly trying to make me feel better whenever i seriously felt like crap. which i must say, was 80% of the time. and 100% of those times, i had unreasonable reasons.

i was whining so much, starting up issues which, when i think only rationally and when i push PMS aside with great effort, were actually not issues at all. like, "i hate how you hung up". "why'd you take so long to pick up". nonsense like that.

he never got pissed with me, lost his patience, or argued back. for some irrational reason, i was always right. he only tried to make me happy, very often putting me above his own welfare, and yes i must say he did succeed each time. but oh-retarded-me will very soon after, start up another issue again.

pms for a week. i think i'm crazy.

well, yesterday was no different. and though he was damn tired after work, he came over and took me out just cos "i think you dont love me". seriously i'm retarded.

and yeah, needless to say whilst we were out, i had to ruin the peace with my "i think you're bored with me". which led to me really really getting depressed.

but he never left my side.

it took the whole night to get me happy again. he didnt leave until i was okay. he didnt leave till 9am. he started work at 10am.

baby just called. i'm gonna end things here. not only this post, but my pms. i'm going to force myself to get out of this spiral for him. cos he's amazing and his attributes are stuff money can't buy.

Labels: Dirty $exy Money, eyecandy, jammers, JKR, kuga starr

really really busy, but because kuga asked me to, i’ll blog about our day (or rather, evening) out together. yeah cos i’ve been so busy since the semester started, i haven’t blogged about any of our outings together. so i think i’ll spend some time on this one.

yesterday, we met around 5.30 in the evening. i was armed with all my study material. we were going to have a quiet constructive study session at a nice little cafe at the airport.

reached there, we had late lunch/dinner first. at our usual chinese restaurant where our dear friend is “a member”. but yeah, we had to agree that our usual outlet was much nicer. our snow mountain was “tall and thin”. snigger..

kuga was so cute. i was busy reading logic while he ordered. i wasnt really paying attention to his ordering. all i remembered was “baby can i order a lot?” i just nodded half-attentively. then, food came.

and kept on coming. and coming and coming and coming.

it was so cute.

haha.

after a really long meal, (i also managed to get a significant amount of logic done) we decided to move to our cafe. besides, kuga was shivering. did i ever tell you that he cant stand cold? like even a little. it was so funny.

so first, we walked to the skytrain station, to go to terminal 1. i was intending to go to the pacific coffee there.

after finally reaching there, we found construction barricades set up.

they were doing renovations, and my cafe was gone.

we walked to the other side of T1. other cafe also GONE.

walked to the skytrain station. took train to T2.

coffee bean. CROWDED LIKE HELL

starbucks CROWDED LIKE HELL

gloria jeans, only one plug. which was being used.

pacific coffee, – come on say it with me – GONE.

it was all good fortune that kuga was there to calm my nerves down. cos at this point i was getting impatient and frustrated. while he was shivering, i could feel tense heat building in me.



calmly, kuga encouraged me to go try terminal 3. so okay we went there.

and guess what.

CROWD EVERYWHERE.

it was so gross.

then kuga enlightened me about the stupid phenomenon. “it’s saturday evening”

-_-



okay now i know never to study out on saturday.

we walked on, searching desperately. me getting more pissed. but it’s a true miracle how calm he was able to remain despite all. like come on, he was carrying ALL my study material. laptop, thick logic book, bag, paper. while i was complaining so loudly. one can only imagine what he must have been going through. but he just kept being happy.

ah, sometimes i think he’s not human.



finally, i was so angry, i decided to sit down on one of the chairs at the departure hall.

i looked at him, and it really occurred to me at that point that he hasn’t complained one bit. this coupled with the fact that i havent spent time with him the whole week due to tests, i really started to feel guilty and appreciate the person sitting next to me.

so i took my laptop, and logged on to the movies showing that evening. and i said, “baby, screw it. come, lets go watch a movie.”

the wide grin i got in reply said it all.

but that wasnt the end of my woes. cos then when i wanted to book tickets online, the stupid page kept lagging.

so then again, the impatient louiza came out.

then, i gave up. took down the phone booking number and decided to give that a shot instead.

like that worked.

the stupid machine was speaking so slowly. i shoved the phone to kuga and ordered him to listen and book while i packed up my stuff.

he made me laugh by looking at me clueless saying “baby, they’re talking so slow!”

i was getting so frustrated about not being able to even book tickets, he then decided to just like go to tampines and buy the tickets from there.

apparently for a 10.30 show at eng wah century square.

okay fine, so we took a bus there.

reached there, and guess what. there was no “10.30” show. it’s like the internet lied to me. there was 11.30. but i really didnt want to wait so long. so from there, we decided to walk to tampines mall GV to see if there were better timings. all the way there, we discovered, NO. no better timings. 11.30 was the next show.

so okay at this point i just gave up. i decided to just buy from tm gv. but then kuga said, “baby dont you like the seats at century more?” i told him if we wanted to go there, we’ll have to walk like all the way there again. and i didnt want to trouble him. really i’ve been dragging him around my crazy moodiness. but then, he insisted we go there. so being the sweet person he is, we walked back to century square and bought the tickets.

but that left us with an hour free. and yes, coffee bean and starbucks were CROWDED. because it’s a saturday evening.

so we went to ocean blue. and got drinks.

which sucked. not unlike the first time i went there.

i got a gin and he got a daquiri.

sucked.

but then! kuga did some magic! he like went to order again, but this time he ordered the ingredients separately. and made the drink in front of me.

i swear he’s the best bartender ever. he makes the best gin. reason why i started drinking gin more often is cos of him. he knows a good gin when he drinks one.

and it was amazing. really. the old drink was like puke. the new drink was wow.

then, with the remaining ingredients, he modified the stupid daquiri we got. and viola! some REALLY nice cocktail.

it was so nice! even he was in love with the new unknown concoction.

okay so, he was really nice to me the whole day. not snapping at my immense impatience at everything.

we watched the ugly truth later on at 11.30 which was really nice, then we went home at a nice 2am.

but that wasnt the end. something really random happened thereafter.

he went down by my window, (i live on the 12th floor) and we started texting each other. i sat by my window while looking down, he sat by the park downstairs my house and we just texted. for like one and a half hours.

cos i didnt want him to go. so he stayed down there and texted me.

then when he left at 3.30, that was the end. (:

p.s. okay i've been trying for hours to upload pictures onto blogger. but freaking blogger sucks. i'm gonna upload an album onto facebook since i'm active there now. check it out okay?? promise??? good. (:

GO TO THE ALBUM

Labels: eyecandy, jammers, kuga starr, Newport, summer, through lens

just showered, after like coming home.

lots of work to do.

i’m gonna camp in my room the whole day to finish it.

Labels: eyecandy, grey's anatomy, jammers, kuga starr

i don't like this!!! i haven't blogged in ages! cos i've been like too tired and exhausted late at night to do so. ):

but all i know, is that i've been spending lots of time with family and kuga.

and i've been reading up on my logic as well. prepping my brain for school. which starts really soon!

oh the eighth was a very nice day for me.

30th was nice. and funny. kuga and his mojito.

i know all this doesn't make sense, but seriously so much as happened since i last blogged and i don't know how to record it ALL down. hopefully i can remember just by looking at this post. and the dates. and the word "nice".

haha.

yes i promise to blog more regularly... but really, it'll eventually have to decrease as well. cos school's gonna start. more things to juggle.

alright, for what it's worth, thanks for reading anyway.

xoxo.

Labels: blood ties, eyecandy, jammers, kuga starr

finally i'm blogging. been too lazy to blog for the past week plus. somehow, i've been feeling exhausted and sleepy. so i don't stay up much if i'm home.

anywayys, (:

time now's about 3am and i'm here sitting on my bed blogging the long delayed post.

and i think i have the most nice and understanding boyfriend.

he had this fantastic nice plan. of which i really really love to do.

just now after work at 11.30pm, he had wanted to come down here, grab my laptop (and me of course) and have a late night supper at downtown macs. then walk home, late into the night.

wouldn't have been our first time doing that, we've already done that several times. and i absolutely LOVE our night outings. (:

BUT, tonight, i turned him down.

yeah i actually did that.

why?

cos of PMS. for some illogical reason, i feel like being left alone. like i just don't want to be with anybody.

and kuga was like so understanding to my whiny-ness.

no objections, or negative responses. he was totally totally supportive, and even allowed me to text my new "boyfriend". (but i didn't text him much anyways cos i really didnt want the presence of anyone around me. yes crazy i know.)

he even made me smile and giggle with his "mushy talk" to me on the phone before he left work. seriously people who know him (like thana) always say they've never seen THE KUGA manja anyone like how he treats me.

so even though i didn't meet him, he left me all in smiles and laughter. (:

but now i'm getting a bit saddish and impatient. cos he hasn't called me yet. since 12.30am. ):

never mind, i shall be patient!.

in the meantime, i think i shall record down what has been happening since last monday.

[fyi, time now is 5pm. i slept last night. didn't finish the post. will continue now. (: ]

now, i'm massaging my feet, sitting in the armchair at the living room... delilah's asleep. and the weather's fine. cloudy/rainy.

yeah it rained pretty heavily last night. i talked with kuga on the phone till nearly 5am. hey! thats like 12 hours earlier from now! haha.

anywayss, okay.

on tuesday, i had that date with boyfriend.

fun-ness.

first, he came over to my place SUPER early. i wasn't expecting him to be early. so in the end he ended up waiting for me outside for almost an hour! haha!

parents and delilah went to the zoo, brother and sister went to school. but no, i didn't let him in the house.

something about how i've become closer with my family the past two years. i've grown to respect them at another level. it would just feel wrong for me.

so anyway, baby had to wait outside and what not.

finally, i met him. which was super funny.

cos after all the arousing phone calls we shared over the weekend, i promised to kiss him for 5 minutes upon meeting him on tuesday.

but when i did meet him, i wasn't really in the mood.

so he was IGNORED. soo cute. haha.

anyways, we went to raffles medical center at airport to get my injection. cos coffee club insisted i get one. ):

sad.

and i was scared. as cheryl would know.

but the nurse was really really nice to me. and i screamed. haha.

okay. then, we RUSHED to vivocity. cos that's where we were scheduled to watch ICE AGE 3

got our tickets, then we went to this restaurant called The Mussels Place or something to have lunch.

we

were

starving.

 

lunch was awesome. i think i want to go there again.

then, we went to watch the movie. (:

which was funny. nice. watched it in 3D.

the dinosaurs were super cute. but i still love diego best.

there was a kid seated near us that said excitedly "mummy! i like the tiger!!"

then i grinned and snuggled up to kuga cos i had a lion of my own. (:

 

after the movie, we walked at the sky park for awhile to warm ourselves. cinema was rather chilly.

then we took a walk to st. james. in kuga's words to "survey the area".

well, so many of my friends are always there. and i've never actually bothered going down to the place. cos it sounded too overrated for me. like homeclub. where EVERYBODY goes.

but then on that day, i had my favourite person in the whole wide world whom i love checking new places out with, with me, so i thought, hey it would be pretty exciting.

after walking there, we walked back to vivo to get me a chocolate cake cos i wanted one. (:

then we spent more time walking around the huge mall.

then whilst walking past the numerous bars there, i felt like drinking. and kuga was okay with it. so we started looking around...

but then i decided, hey! since we're here, why don't we go to st.james?

so yeah. that was the plan.

but it was still a tad early. so for about 45 mins, we sat near the water and talked about all sorts of stuff, while i snuggled on him.

 

then we made our way there. and apparently there were so many outlets! we went into dragonfly and the chinese dude was like so confused.

later i found out from rudy it's a cheena place. go figure.

so later with rudy's help, we decided on movida. at like 8pm.

got a nice table, and then we ordered a jug. and some fried stuff.

and thats when the night began.

hahaa. which was super fun.

we talked, laughed... drank. drinks after drinks... and by 11 plus, i think we were quite high.

which was funny.

i got angry at him because he did something so lame and stupid. (which i can't mention here.) and then i was like scolding him. amidst the loud music and chaos. hahaha! and he was like sorry sorry sorry sorry.

actually what he did was no big deal. but i think i was high. hahahaha! thats why. damn funny.

so we were like crazy there. but i think the ladies at the next table were worst. they totally didn't know what they were doing.

dancing like crazy people and actually getting the waiter to stay with them.

funny.

 

then we went outside, away from the noise... and our high-ness soon died out. i think we both can hold our drinks pretty well.

stayed there for awhile... then went back to vivo... at like 3am.

then took a cab and reached home at 4am.

 

that was fun. but crazy. i had work at 11 and he at 10. so it was pretty whack.

 

well that was our day.

on wednesday, .... nothing much happened.

but i was really really tired at work.

 

on thursday, ...

thana met me after my work, and we rushed down to orchard to meet kuga during his short break.

we all had lunch at macs, then after kuga left, thana and i walked along orchard while i ate potato chips...

we walked around OC again, then went back to pasir ris.

had coffee and toast, then we went to NTUC where he helped me with his chef expertise to find ingredients to cook myself a soup. (;

then we we

nt home, and i cooked my soup.

 

on thursday night 4am/ friday morning...

i was talking to kuga on the phone and i got a bit upset so he came down at 5am plus from malaysia and we talked till it as 8 plus and i had to rush to work.

i worked at 9.

it was a miracle i got to work on time. like on the dot.

then, kuga came into coffee club. like he was the first customer. haha.

well at least that made my first hour eventful.

then he had to go to work, cos he started at 2...

in the evening, family and i went to bugis to have thai dinner with the rest of the family.

train was stupid. it was super delayed. in the end we dropped off at kembangan and took a cab.

 

on saturday,...

i was off.

went to aunty evie's house to blackjack the whole day.

went home at 10 after watching the first part of harry potter on tv.

 

on sunday...

went to work...

rushed to orchard to have lunch with kuga during his break...

went to tampines to attend church.

came home,

evening, went to mac donalds with kuga.

came home at 3am.

 

on monday,...

worked at 9 to 1.

met daddy at white sands.

went home together.

joana's birthday.

at night, went to airport.

ate lots of ice cream.

talked on phone with kuga for ages.

 

on tuesday, ...

off. stayed home with delilah.

at night, went mac donalds with kuga at white sands.

walked home.

nice.,

reached home at 4.

 

which was killer because,

on wednesday,

i worked at 9am.

till 2.30pm.

and i felt like dying.

 

on thursday,

which was yesterday.

i stayed home, and stared to read A Walk to Remember

and at night, kuga wanted to meet me, but i pushed him away.

 

and TODAY,

i think i'll meet him. (:

 

p.s. christmas is starting to show its presence... tv shows are airing their xmas episodes. =/

 

p.p.s. i dreamt of martin today. =/

Labels: Angela Ferilli, blood ties, cher, chrismukkah, coffeeclub, daddy, Dirty $exy Money, dreamdiary, eyecandy, fallacy, God, jammers, kuga starr, LA, phone dates

about 7.30 in the evening now...

brought mom and family out for lunch. except daddy. he had to work.

dont know what to say about lunch.

was both fun and disastrous.

brother and i ordered these disgusting drinks. thick milkshakes.. well at least mine was a pleasant pink and white... or strawberries and vanilla. my brother's apparent "oreo" milkshake looked like a genuine replica of polyjuice potion.

we couldnt finish them, and also like minutes later we found ourselves suffering from tummy aches.

and i think mine was worst cos i drank more of mine... and also i think another cause of my tummy ache was the fact i splattered Tabasco sauce on everything i ate.

i dont usually eat tabasco. but there was very little chili sauce on our table, and i was lazy to ask for more.

ughhhh......... i really hate the feeling. (i'm still suffering from it.) i think my brother's already cured. which leads me to think that maybe there was nothing wrong with the milkshakes after all. that it's just the stupid tabasco.

after lunch, walked around tampines1 with family, but then really, i started to totally not be able to take the pain...

so i dragged the whole party to BLUE. the bar at century square. to get myself my favourite coffee. illy.

the coffee helped.

a bit.

joana, delilah and mummy decided to go home first, leaving vicente and i at the bar.

vicente ordered shelly temple. that was so not like what we always drink in usa.

then i decided to order a cocktail. yes despite the tummy ache.

i must say after everything, i felt much better.

alcohol runs in the family i think.

BUT NOW I FEEL LIKE CRAP AGAIN! i think the powers of the alcohol is wearing off.

followed vicente to the arcade for awhile. he wanted to play a racing game. i spoke to kuga on the phone...

then we went home.

AND I FEEL LIKE CRAP. REALLLY. ):

i shall tell kuga.

p.s. thank you world for all the mother's day wishes. (:

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2.30... got back not too long ago. bathed... think i'll have a late night tonight. feel like watching tv later. and snacking. (:

worked today. rained on the way there. but lucky i had the umbrella that security alfie gave me. (: not elfy. Alfie. but elfy, if you're reading this, dont worry. you're still the best elfy to me.

work was slow moving for some reason... maybe cos lion was off today. nothing to look forward to. BUT! at 2, thana came! and i was hyped! (:

but he had to go tangles soon after... oh wells. but i visited him later on after i knocked off.

scones were scary looking today.

then, at 3, guess who called me!

lion was coming all the way down to meet me. (: from malaysia!

he insisted even though i was insisting that he stayed home and rest.

while waiting, i went to laundry to change my uniform... the lady saw my order pad.. that i drew lion's name on it. rather embarrassing. haha.

then met lion at starbucks.

we walked a lot today. cant really describe what we did. cos we did a lot. and i tend to forget the world whenever he's around. we ate swensons though. (:

and went to acidbar for awhile...

then muffin and coffee...

we walked a lot in between. right up till 12 am.

one thing's for sure, we talked a lot. and i told him about my life.

not all, but in general.

and he's still optimistic.

for now i guess.

otw home, i talked to thana on the phone.

life is amazing.

to rudy: i am considering. but there is still much to clarify.

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easier to swallow. if you want something smooth instead of the aggressive jacob's creek.

today wasn't that great either... things cant really compare to the happiness of the previous days before yesterday. i don't feel like going work later. i want to finish my uni things. ughs.

work was okay. i only perked up when thana came.

i've come to realize he's really really a true friend and i will do anything i can for him.

but then i ended soon after... so i left.

then just had my usual day. filled with stress from reading.

then, the dream team came down to pasir ris.

with a bottle of hardys merlot and SWENSONS ICE CREAM!!!!

omg that made me loads happier.

thanks for taking care of me lion. i appreciate it.

then talked to jave on the phone. really really fun talking to that guy. we both miss selvam very much.

and now, i'm feeling much better.

but i'm wondering, should i sleep?

i frankly dont feel like it.

ok 5am still talking to jave.

 

6.30! hahaha. gangster.

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i feel much better.

vicente bought for me kfc, cut for me cake, we talked, had fun.

he doesnt judge.

and i owe him a lot for what he did yesterday.

he did a lot that didnt get me into more trouble.

and i've been chatting with bryan. he's been my solace companion throughout my stay here in "suspension dimension".

the only human company i dont mind at the moment.

he doesnt remind me of things i want to get away from. or reality.

comforting how he reminds me of a past. a nice one.

so that made me feel better too.

vicente and bryan.

then there's lion.

he's not having a good day at work too. but its comforting to know i'm on his mind as much as he is in mine.

and thana.

he texted me.

my best friendd of the deli.

made me smile too.

okay and as for the family, i guess it's something i will have to deal with later.

and i will. and we'll work things out cos we always do.

and i'll go back to loving them.

okay its half past 3. it's time for me to walk back outside.

to the life i have,

the good life i have.

the one i wont exchange anything for. regardless of the times i leap over to the greener pasture for a visit.

because this life, made me who i am today. and i am proud of that.

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sometimes - just sometimes - i don't like my life.

sometimes - just sometimes - i want to be able to live differently.

sometimes - just sometimes - i don't want the pressure, the expectations.

sometimes - just sometimes - i don't want the status.

sometimes - just sometimes - i want to be away.

but if i could have it my way, to make things the way i sometimes want things to be, i still won't change a thing.

except maybe to be sometimes able to live the way i sometimes want life to be.

will all this ever pay off?

or am i just living in a prolonged state of suspension.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i just woke up like less than an hour ago. (i.e. 11 plus)

sorry if this post sounds airy. i'm still feeling dazed. i hate this feeling. not the physical aspect. but the psychological effects of it on the relationship between myself and family.

yesterday, i got wasted real bad. worst in my entire life. first time i actually puked cos of alcohol. and i can hold my liqueur well. so that's the extent of it.

remember how i've been having awesome days in a row since like 3 days ago?

yeah well the lucky streak stopped at 7pm yesterday.

day started great. was going to work happy. cos was gonna work with selvam and thana. my favourite combi.

then in the train when i messaged that i was going to be late, i got a reply that lion was working instead of selvam!

so another day working with lion!

and i've come to notice that when we work together, the deli's very empty even though it's supposed to be crowded during that time.

its a weird phenomena.

so anyway, lion and thana.

fun as well! they were super nice to me. made me sandwiches... lion was beyond expectations nice. he spread jam on the scones for me. even though he doesnt like being nice.

thana made me a sandwich with vegetable. cos he wanted to get me to eat it. i was whining and whining about it. but i forced myself to eat it in the end. for him. he's my best friend over there. so really, anything for him.

after work, lion and i went for lunch. and he also couldnt believe how nice he was. he was like carrying my bag. and weeks back, we used to quarrel about how ungentlemanly he is. cos he was saying he hate guys who soften up for girls. blahblah.

but really, i appreciated it.

lunch was super fun. again, beyond expectations, lion took out the food for me... arrange nicely...

supposed to go for coffee, but i was running late for dinner with family. aunty evie's birthday. so in the end i just taxied him to work, then i continued down to pasir ris.

and the dread of having to leave him marks the end of my happiness.

cos the party wasn't really a happy thing.

yes i loved seeing my family and stuff. but it was really hard to enjoy myself and be happy when i feel like a betrayer. seriously, i feel like it's my fault that things couldn't have been better. and i was sitting at the main table. i was feeling damn guilty.

so it was hard to mingle, or talk, especially with the main people. so i just mainly haunted the dessert table. and later on the bar.

tried to occupy myself. there wasnt really much for me to do.

then i got drunk.

puked, cried, ugh.

but only cos my family didnt know i was at that state. we got into the cab like normal. and then i puked halfway home.

anyone who knows me will know that when i drink, dont put me in a vehicle. firstly i get road sick very easily. and me having alcohol will just put me in an express flight to pukedom.

so yeah. that really really sucked.

i feel like a loser.

and right now, the only happy joyful thing about my life, sadly, is my work friends. with them, i forget about my cares for awhile. with them, i'm not someone who has to perform. with them, i can be whoever i want to be without worry.

really.

selvam, thana, lion, jave.

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