we don't need to go that far, let's hold on to where we are. if it's real, we'll make it through. cos all i need is you.

tomorrow's mother's day. and vivian just reminded me that i'm a mom too.

honestly didnt really occur to me.

let's see how many people remember that.

if you know what i mean.

hmmm.

so, sacrifice.

yeah i think so.

character development?

i think so.

i hope so.

how to cope?

elfy says i still have phobia.

yeah i know.

i'm halfway preparing to bolt as it is.

i dont want pain.

i hate bothering my brain.

think think think.

bleah.

don't worry. nothing that bad.

and maybe that's cos i'm not allowing it to be that bad.

cos of the "phobia"

bleah.

ah wells. lets see how things go.

i'm still waiting for the sign on which path my life will take.

is the freaking sign even going to come?

so... mother's day huh.

sacrifice.

who's gonna even give me credit?

maybe that's why i actually forgot that this day's actually for me too.

=/

so mind-boggling.

why cant i just sit and talk to you.

can i be busy with work.

SIGN AGAIN.

rarh.

yes i'm crazy.

this is so weird.

i'm not normal.

ughhh.

never mind. think, character development character development.

and there are WORSE out there.

*comfort.... k now i sound like cheryl in her blog. with all that finding comfort thingys.

never mind now's just the beginning.

bigger picture bigger picture.

lets take a look at what's passed so far.

saturday

kuga started work at 6. i had no mood to go work. but he came to singapore super early. and surprised me otw to work. i start at 11. so he brought me to work... and waited for me to end at 3. then brought me home.

sunday

kuga started work at 10. i went to work super early. at like 9 plus. bought us breakfast. started work early with him.

super busy day. CHAOS.

went to tangles after work. thana made me a nice sandwich.

monday

worked with kuga again.

rushed home in cab... it's the day i saw cheryl.

tuesday

worked with kuga. this time whole day.

but our breaks were different.

i ate a lot.

people kept giving me food.

stewards gave me some chicken dish and rice...

then i went up, thana gave me a ham sandwich.

then i went down, sat with selvam, susan, rose ann, that guy.

more food. some chinese pastry thing. quite nice to chew.

then thana came down, and selvam, i and him were table top talking. for the rest of my break. happiest time of the day for me. selvam's really nice.

dream team. haha. minus kuga. who wasn't on break.

5, went up. worked with christina for almost 2 hours.

kuga bought me chicken rice during his break.

so i went to eat again... this time sat with indra and the handsome manager.

also fun.

but doesnt beat the dream team.

worked with thana at night. awesomeness.

did closing with lots of his help...

went home together... bus didnt stop at his house. haha!

thats for bullying me.

carried on going home.

kuga was at my house.

wow.

hung out for awhile...

went home.

wednesday

worked with kuga again.

at 3 he brought me home.

at macs at white sands.

thursday

worked with kuga again.

friday

didnt work with kuga. worked with muraly.

saturday (today)

worked with kuga, but he started at 12.

talked to elfy otw to work. he made me happy.

after work, we ate macs at shaw.

then i went home, he went back to work.

LJ

so, sacrifice?

envy?

tolerance?

character development.

let's see how long i can live like this.

why i've been working with him so much?

eloisa, whom i always work with, is on leave.

Labels: ALEXANDER VII, Aliens Exist, Angela Ferilli, cher, elfie, eyecandy, grey's anatomy, Knights Ridge, kuga starr, louiza speaks, muse, Newport, No Reservations, switchfoot fallacy, wordsmagicallyspun

2.30... got back not too long ago. bathed... think i'll have a late night tonight. feel like watching tv later. and snacking. (:

worked today. rained on the way there. but lucky i had the umbrella that security alfie gave me. (: not elfy. Alfie. but elfy, if you're reading this, dont worry. you're still the best elfy to me.

work was slow moving for some reason... maybe cos lion was off today. nothing to look forward to. BUT! at 2, thana came! and i was hyped! (:

but he had to go tangles soon after... oh wells. but i visited him later on after i knocked off.

scones were scary looking today.

then, at 3, guess who called me!

lion was coming all the way down to meet me. (: from malaysia!

he insisted even though i was insisting that he stayed home and rest.

while waiting, i went to laundry to change my uniform... the lady saw my order pad.. that i drew lion's name on it. rather embarrassing. haha.

then met lion at starbucks.

we walked a lot today. cant really describe what we did. cos we did a lot. and i tend to forget the world whenever he's around. we ate swensons though. (:

and went to acidbar for awhile...

then muffin and coffee...

we walked a lot in between. right up till 12 am.

one thing's for sure, we talked a lot. and i told him about my life.

not all, but in general.

and he's still optimistic.

for now i guess.

otw home, i talked to thana on the phone.

life is amazing.

to rudy: i am considering. but there is still much to clarify.

Labels: 13 o'clock, Aliens Exist, Angela Ferilli, boys, Dirty $exy Money, elfie, eyecandy, fallacy, grey's anatomy, jammers, No Reservations, switchfoot fallacy

Agenda for next week: Thy shalt live on Desperate Housewives alone

Agenda for now: Thy shall not perform miracles for no reason

Thought for now: I think I throw money around too blatantly

want to watch october road now. but at the moment, it is on pause cos i wanna blog first before i forget about what i want to blog about.

number one on the list, my new toner smells of vodka. random fact.

and then number two, the most important. (:

i just came back not too long ago from a Macdonald fest with daddy del and vicente. SUPER FUN. and one vital thing i've learnt.

SUDDENLY I LIKE FILLET O FISH BURGER.

first time eating. i always thought it was a lame burger. but today i decided to get it. cos it looks lame. hahaha. cos the main reason we went there was to eat the FRIES. so i just got a lame burger.

WE BOUGHT LOTS OF FRIES.

and i love family time like that. super fun.

bought and bought and bought.

WHO WANTS TO GO FRIES FEST WITH ME???? :D

then dad even bought fries to cook at home. yes i love my dad.

and another thing.

thank you russell for being so concerned about me. (:

and lastly,

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THANA TOMORROW!!! yes i'll scream it from the mountain tops. that boy is adorable.

Labels: ALEXANDER VII, blood ties, boys, daddy, Dirty $exy Money, eyecandy, grey's anatomy, Knights Ridge, No Reservations, switchfoot fallacy, this chapter is called...

you stop me from doing the best i can, that is perfection.

Labels: switchfoot fallacy

apparently the saying goes, "you win some, you lose some." fair enough. but in my life, i like to think it's rather more like "you win most, you lose a bit - and learn from them."

got back from work already, now having lunch. i just want to blog cos i wanna annotate a few things in my mind...

firstly, i'd like to introduce to myself (yes myself) a new tag. the switchfoot fallacy.

actually from the start i've already been reluctant in introducing such a tag. because then that would mean that the subjects are actually significant to me. and that will be ironic cos i'm technically aiming to not allow them significance to my life.

but then i realize that considerable time has passed and such issues keep passing through my mind unavoidably as i do not have the power to determine the kind of environment i'm exposed to. in addition to that, i cant simply ignore the trend into oblivion because sometimes, no matter how reluctant i am, these situations call to be looked into. and subsequently, i do have to make personal decisions that determine my personal stance.

so yes, ignorance is bliss, but can be unwise too. there is a great difference between control over thoughts and denial; the latter limits our learning on handling trying circumstances.

i don't want to limit my potential to learn.

ergo, i present the Switchfoot Fallacy.

disclaimer to self though. this does not mean i'm allowing the subjects to become significant to my thought baggage and emotion. no. the tag is not specific. it is broad. because hindsight tells me that the present subject wouldn't be the last i would see the trend in. it is a thread of human nature.

so today, how is this relevant?

well, the current mood is actually that i'm very amused and a bit indignant.

you know how the spare wheel theory works right? well i'm not feeling that extreme. but still, to some degree, i'm not feeling very appreciated. which is fine really. just that it's amusing how much tolerance and appeasement is expected of me.

but then, i must admit too that i have my own expectations which is why i'm feeling this way to begin with - indignant.

i mean switching on and off is one thing. i think i can deal with that. simply by not letting it bother me much. because anyways it's not significant enough.

but then the amusement comes because, the switch is one thing. but trying to build a whole network??? on my grounds?? (i'm speaking metaphorically.) after treating me that way, what makes you think i'm even comfortable with such a notion. seriously.

what an invasion.

okay thats done. now back to things that really matter to me.

Work today was seriously fun again. except for a certain customer that made us really annoyed. but i guess i was the most annoyed since i'm not really used to it yet. but then, i had my friends around and that fact alone was so awesome that nothing could really get me down.

besides, the whole point of me working there is to gain experience and nurture myself. yes, i want to learn patience and tolerance from unreasonable customers. i think this will help me a lot later in life.

i really appreciate thana though. haha. he whipped up this awesome tasting coffee drink that tasted so good i forgot all about the irritation i was feeling. then i also couldnt stop laughing cos of the whole knife conspiracy thing. (: hopefully he gets posted to my outlet again tomorrow. i definitely want him around especially since eloisa is flying off tonight and will be gone for the next 2 weeks.

seriously working with the two of them around is the best.

and today something funny happened. hahaha. i went to the pastry kitchen to collect stuff then i saw the HK sous chef! and then i actually asked, "are you a sous chef?" then he was like "ya." with that confused look on his face. probably cos i asked such a strange question. then he got even more confused when i started giggling like a crazy person. then i said "okay bye." then i went.

haha. seriously. seriously.

Labels: ALEXANDER VII, boys, eyecandy, grey's anatomy, No Reservations, switchfoot fallacy, wordsmagicallyspun